“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” ~ Emily Bronte
They say, “when you know, you know,” which was always such an odd and unsure statement to me. As if my question—“Is he the one for me?”—would always be left floating in the wind.
I had been in relationships before. I remember thinking, “yeah, he could be the one.” Or, “I could spend my life with him.” Somehow always left with a wavering feeling in the pit of my stomach, I chalked it up to my indecisive nature. I had become accustomed to being uncertain of most things in life.
Past relationships left me with questions constantly swirling in the back of my mind. I felt guilty, and wondered if I was simply an ungrateful woman—impossible to please or expecting too much. As I constantly questioned the validity of my relationships—“Is there something more?” “Is this it?”—I thought never being completely satisfied or absolutely positive might just be the sad reality of relationships.
Then I met the man who is most certainly my soulmate.
I experienced things in relationship that I had never had the pleasure of experiencing before, proving to me that relationships and love are as great as they are cracked up to be.
And all of my elders are right: “When you know, you just know.” Here’s how I knew:
1. I knew, because I no longer felt the need to hide bits and pieces of myself.
In past relationships, I regretfully found myself slowly chipping away tiny bits of myself. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because they were just minor things, until one day I woke up and I wasn’t sure who I was anymore.
When it’s soul mate love, there’s not a damn thing we need to change or hide. We are free to be an open book. Sacrificing pieces of ourselves is a thing of the past, because “our self” is exactly what they want.
2. I knew, because I felt safe.
Loving someone is letting myself be vulnerable, sending my heart to the frontline of war. It’s terrifying, but when I came across my soulmate, he gifted me a sense of calm. He somehow made it seem okay. Even though I may not want to trust him with my heart and soul, I just do. The lingering questions and suspicions in the back of my mind from past relationships vanished.
Somehow, our heart knows it’s okay—that it has found its match, that it is safe to lower its walls.
3. I knew, because losing him would be losing part of myself.
Meeting him and loving him has introduced me to new parts of myself—parts that have always been there, but have never been reached by another person. There’s something about me when I am with him that is just better than me when I am without him. I am painfully independent, so I could never admit to needing anyone. But, if he were to leave my life, I know I would never be the same.
They are a part of us now.
4. I knew, because “I just knew.”
When we meet our person, we just feel good. We feel right, and we feel at ease. They come into our life and make us question how we did life without them for so long. We somehow know that they have had our heart since before we even met.
The relationship is organic—and we finally see that love is everything it’s cracked up to be.