April 21, 2016

How to Cultivate a Relationship with a Mature Woman.


Before any signs that a definite relationship might actually ensue, I remember simply appreciating being friends with this amazing woman who mystified my ego, heart and spirit.

Fate brought us together many times in life and finally one year we were inexplicably drawn to one another amidst a chance meeting, despite the inability to act on anything.

A year passed and my curiosity got the best of me—so I wrote her a letter.

About three months later she replied.

Somehow I suppose the stars aligned which is why I was so fortunate to have met such an old soul—a very mature and painfully gorgeous woman who can still make me tremble to this day.

She was very attached to her lifestyle yet was still interested in inviting someone in.

This eventually meant altering both of our needs, our time and space to create something together—a mutual timeline.

I realize now that it required radical leaps of faith on both of our parts along with a thirst to grow spiritually—a hidden purpose that propelled our union.

Cultivating a relationship with a mature woman is a very sobering experience—yet it has the potential to liberate our souls from mental repression and a dying nature.

Laughter, an abiding friendship and bond were crucial to engaging her broken heart, complex mind, free spirit and body openly from spaces of vulnerability and trust.

A playful relationship keeps youth and vitality alive—that childlike nature openly shared and explored together often.

She taught me how to open myself up to that childlike joy eternally residing within.

A wise man will appreciate a mature woman who can admit her flaws, express her needs and bear her vulnerability.

A man worthy of a mature woman will respect her needs and help her without enabling her.

He’ll know how to communicate with her no matter how difficult it is to bring our truths to the surface.

He must remain patient and listen to her when she’s communicating with him—no matter how rational or irrational either party is.

Until a man can appreciate a woman for who she truly is—a complete mystery at first, but over time an infinite guide of wisdom, insight, emotional liberation and miraculous healing—she will elude him.

There’s no telling how long it might take for a woman to see us for who we are, so our best motive is authenticity.

Are we capable of accepting friendship or flat out rejection as necessary means of potentially meeting a mature woman that we might be compatible with?

Time will tell if you’ve gained her attention or if it’s best to let be and let go.

I’ve pretty much found that their invite will be obvious so long as we’re paying attention.

The invite is not into their bedroom, it’s into their mind and heart.

He must relate to her instinctive and reproductive senses, her pleasures and worth, ego, love and grief, communication, intellect and insights—her insecurities.

A mature man’s heart aches to love more strongly and passionately in all aspects of his life—waking and dreaming moments of purposeful living.

He’s there to hold space for her sorrows to spill forth from her tear stained cheeks for reasons he may never fully understand.

A mature woman needs breathing room to explore her creative and sensual nature without feeling like she’s bound to someone.

His commitment is his regular attention to her—listening intently and offering his own insights to help her heal from her wounds.

His patience will lend insights into how he can continually shape his love of her over time as they endlessly reveal who they are to one another.

We must be raw and sometimes animalistic while other times, unwavering in our faith to maintaining mutual well-being within this mating process.

A mature woman requires intellectual and sensual stimulation—she appreciates the truth, even if it stings.

She demands respect and will not tolerate the selfish needs of an adult male.

She’s a peer and deserves her space to stand in her beliefs and voice herself with the support of someone she trusts dearly.

A mature woman is asking us to be strong where they are not and will lift us up more with their love than we’ll ever fully realize if we simply choose to reciprocate.

A mature woman deserves our deepest admiration whether she ever becomes a lover, enemy or best friend.

We’ve not been together for a few years now, but our relationship still grows and I am happy to know we are friends—as she once said, “There’s always love, always.”

This is how I’ve learned to cultivate a relationship with a mature woman—potentially my everlasting teacher, peer and student.




Author: Thayne Ulschmid

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Flickr/Ramon Guiterrez

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