April 8, 2016

The Guy who Says Goodbye to you is Out of his Mind.


“He may still love you. He probably does. He probably doesn’t know what he wants. He probably still thinks about you all the time. But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what he’s doing about it, and what he’s doing about it is nothing. And if he’s doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn’t do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.” ~ Anonymous


My beautiful sweet woman—I know that you love him, but please know that any man who says goodbye to you is out of his mind.

I know that it’s tempting to sit in patient waiting, wishing on falling stars and believing that maybe the timing just wasn’t right—or that maybe this lost man just needs to figure out things before he can be with you—but those sweet smelling lies only make us feel better. They don’t actually help to fix the reality of the situation.

He left you. Perhaps without reason or notice, but nevertheless he is gone from the place that you had held on reserve for him in your life.

You are a glorious, wild woman who breathes meaning into even the most skeptical of hearts, and while I know that it’s tempting to be the martyr and not give up on this man—the truth is he’s never asked you to wait.

He isn’t off to war fighting valiant battles, knowing in the end he will return to you, because he hasn’t given you any reason to hold onto his memory tighter than he ever tried to hold onto you.

If he was the man for you, darlin’—he would still be here. But he’s not.

He might be out of his mind—or maybe he just doesn’t know who he is, and therefore has no real idea of what he wants. But regardless of the reason, he is not the man for you.

You are simply incredible—not when you are dressed to set the town on fire in elegance, but when you wake up with the constellations of dreams still blurry in your eyes. You are breathtaking as you look out at the fresh new tangerine sunrise, knowing that there isn’t anything that can get between you and the ambitions that beat as fierce as your courageous heart.

You are wonderful, simply because of the woman you are, and the man who truly wants to walk beside you in this life won’t ever let you go.

Don’t buy into the philosophy that love has to be hard, or that we owe it to the men we love to never give up on them, even when they have already forgotten the way we kissed them so sweetly.

Love is real, and it does exist, but it has to be a two way street. Both parties have to be willing to meet each other half way on that journey as well.

I’m not doubting his love for you, because there isn’t any way that a man could grow that close to you and not love you—but feeling love and the action of love are two different things.

And you my glorious goddess, deserve a warrior who would go to the ends of the earth, bending time and space in half if it meant just one more moment of having you in his arms. Not a love that makes you second guess what will happen even tomorrow.

It’s easy to say that just because “it’s not working out now” doesn’t mean that it won’t work out a week or month from now—but my beautiful soul, just because you were born with a deep faith in all that you hold dear, doesn’t mean that it will come to fruition either.

Sometimes you just have to accept that if a man can actually walk away from you—then he’s not the one who deserves to be by your side.

The worst torture you can inflict upon yourself is to think that somehow this man’s leaving is a reflection of the woman you are or your precious worth.

My beautiful fierce woman, not everyone can stand next to the sun and endure its warms rays—and not every man can handle having a woman who is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

This man leaving you is merely a reflection of his own sense of self-worth, because the thing is, no matter how hard you ever loved him, you could never show him how much he deserved you, when he hadn’t yet learned to love himself.

Because no matter what you did—or even continually do—that is a lesson that he has to learn for himself through the bittersweet trenches of solitude.

And when he does—he just may come back.

He may finally realize what a mistake he has made, because now he sees that all other women just pale in comparison to you—that he lost the sun while chasing the shadows of his passing fancies.

But by then my dear, it will be too late.

Because you will have a new man—a man who never makes you question his feelings or intentions. A man who kisses your fingertips and holds your heart in the way that lets you know he sees you—not just for the swing of your hair or the fullness of your breasts—but for the soul that you are.

A man who—no matter how complicated or difficult it was or how bad the timing was—has never left. Someone who stays and works through things with you.

A man who meets you halfway, because he knows that no matter what uphill battles he might have to fight to be by your side, it’s worth it—because it means getting to see your charming lashes flutter as you fall asleep against his chest at the end of a long day.

Because this man knew all along, that any man who said goodbye to you is out of his mind—and he’s determined to not be like all the rest.





Author: Kate Rose

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina

Photo: Pixabay

You must be logged in to post a comment. Create an account.

Anita Apr 11, 2016 4:04am

A great reminder, thank you. Perfectly said.

Laura Apr 10, 2016 4:32pm

Oh Kate, did you crawl into my brain and pluck those words from my thoughts? This is the conversation incontinuallybhave with myself. ♥️

Caroline Apr 10, 2016 12:27am

This went straight to my heart. And brain. Thank you.

Read Elephant’s Best Articles of the Week here.
Readers voted with your hearts, comments, views, and shares:
Click here to see which Writers & Issues Won.

Kate Rose

Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, mother, rule breaker, and rebel. She can usually be found walking barefoot in the moonlight between worlds with the dreams of stars still hanging in her hair, swaying her hips to the music of life and smelling of sweet bourbon and honeysuckle. She lives for adventure and wakes each morning with the excitement of a new day waiting to unfold at her feet. She truly believes the best is yet to come and waits, with bated breath, to see what it may hold. Follow her on TwitterFacebook or Instagram, and find more of her words on her website.