“Fatherhood isn’t about having kids but about the man you become because of your kids.” ~ Being Caballero
A myth exists that mothers are the only ones “doing it by themselves,” that men are always the ones who choose to leave when the going gets to tough—but you, my dear sweet man, know better.
You are the glue for your family, not necessarily because you wanted it that way, but because there was no other option. You’ve swallowed your own sweet desires to do what was right in the name of your children, and never once have you wished for a life free from the burden of caring for them.
The minute these children were born, they recreated you and with that, the life you intended to lead.
You are a better man because of your children.
I can see it in your watery eyes, tired from exhaustion over story-times that just don’t seem to end and nights that last far too long—the limbs of your children stretched over your long torso as you breathe heavily, unsure if you are ready for another day.
But it doesn’t matter because the minute they open their hopeful eyes, blinking in your direction and whispering “good morning” over their fuzzy bed head hair, you forgot all the reasons you felt like you couldn’t continue because for you—this is your world.
It’s a rumor that mothers are left to step up where a man chooses to step down. Often times our society paints men in the unfair azure light of “deadbeat dad” or “baby-daddy,” as if suddenly—by becoming a father—men lose the right to their own identity. We criticize them for not being the father that our children need and shame them into giving up long before the fight has even begun.
But this is not the truth, nor is it even the norm because men—and fathers—like you do exist.
Wishing a single mother “Happy Father’s day” is not a new sentiment, but showing our appreciation for you—the single father—isn’t something that is done nearly enough.
It seems that as a society, we are more comfortable in painting the father as the villain in even the most bittersweet of fairy-tales, but you—you are a true knight, running into battle each day regardless of the defeats of yesterday.
I admire you and your strength, because I understand that raising children is truly the hardest job in the world.
I know what it’s like to become the world to a child, and I know that while there isn’t anywhere else we’d rather be, it doesn’t mean that it is always easy.
That is why today I would like to extend my appreciation to you—the single father and the hero of the story.
You are the gentle kind of man who knows how to take your children into your arms and comfort them with a warm embrace and tender kisses upon their expectant foreheads. You don’t pay attention to how society tells you to be a father, and it doesn’t make a difference if other fathers don’t show their affection towards their children like you do, because you are secure enough in your crazy, vibrant masculine energy to know that you are precisely the father your child needs.
In fact, it’s your tenderness towards your child that makes you even more of a man and elevates your divine masculine energy to the heights that it has reached.
The secret is that you will always be exactly the father that your children need you to be.
I know that sometimes you exhaust yourself trying to do right by your children, giving up your own dreams at times and trying to make life as easy for them as you can—but it’s not your job to sacrifice what you want for the life that you think they should lead. The truth is that sometimes it’s our trials and tribulations that help turn us into the role models that our children need.
The only thing that you need to never lose sight of is that your children will learn by example more than what you say. So just continue to show them the amazing man you are—and they too will grow up learning the importance of following their heart and making their own path in this life.
Continue to show your children that doing the right thing and the easiest is not always one and the same. Let them see that at the end of the day, nothing matters more than being at peace—and that regardless of the life that others wish we led, in the end, we have to choose the life we want to live.
One day these children’s hands will outgrow yours, they may even reach taller and their strides may be even greater, but that will never mean that they will outgrow your heart.
As parents, our only wish for our children is that someday they do better than us in this life, that maybe they’ll have it just a little bit easier, and perhaps they’ll find just a little more success—but the truth is, if your children grow to be half the man you already are, then they will exceed your expectations.
I know that you spend far more time worrying than you ever let on, but I want you to know that I see you. I see your effort in this life, and I see the kind of father that you are—and it’s inspiring.
It’s not always easy—but it’s not supposed to be.
Mistakes will be made—and sometimes you will feel like you are failing—but just know that the best of parents feel like that sometimes. You’re not supposed to be infallible, and one day your children will appreciate your realness and the lessons you will have taught them.
You aren’t just an amazing man—you are an incredible father.
Never doubt that regardless of where your life takes you, you will always be exactly the father that your children need you to be, simply because failing will just never be an option for a man like you.
And so, today and always—Happy Mother’s Day to a Daddy who does it all.
Author: Kate Rose
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina