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May 25, 2016

How Breaking Routine Rejuvenated my Sex Life. {Adult}

woman red nails bed

There is always room for improvement, but when we are already satisfied with our performance, what can motivate us to push to that next level?

In my experience, once we’re content, we don’t tend to try harder.

Once a boyfriend wondered, “Is it possible we’re missing out by not trying anything new?” He assured me he wasn’t complaining, but merely contemplating how a sexual routine might impede reaching new orgasmic heights.

Once we’re familiar with doing something—whether it’s driving to work, making coffee or practicing asanas in yoga class—our mind can go on autopilot. In sex, then, when we know what to expect, how can it be quite as exciting?

A few weeks ago in yoga class, the instructor made us reverse the order of a sequence.

She explained that by changing the order, we would not only raise our awareness, but also feel the sensations in our body more deeply. As I went through the asana facing the room backwards and moving in reverse order, I noticed that my surroundings changed and it felt more difficult to stretch my muscles. I went home with the soreness of a good workout.

Having tried this positional reversal in class, I suggested to my boyfriend that we do the same in the bedroom.

He looked at me inquisitively, but was happy to oblige. I have to admit, at first I felt clumsy and a bit awkward switching up how I’d been accustomed to climaxing. But, I stopped thinking—yes, thinking—about when he was going to move into that position that would make me come. Since I was less restless, I stopped rushing the moments that were less exciting, and I started feeling.

By switching things up, we can focus on our body rather than our thoughts.

Often, we might overlook subtle nuances of pleasure, expecting the big climax to come. By getting away from our usual routine, we stay in the moment.

So, my boyfriend did have a valid question. Sticking with a good routine may prevent couples from soaring to new heights. Just as we can become complacent in our performance with anything else, so too can we become overly content with our sex lives.

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Author: Jane CoCo Cowles

Editor: Toby Israel

Image: Pexels

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