May 5, 2016

We Create our own Realities (& How “Tapping” Helps).

Kelly Austin/Unsplash

*Editor’s note: Elephant Journal articles represent the personal views of the authors, and can not possibly reflect Elephant Journal as a whole. Disagree with an Op-Ed or opinion? We’re happy to share your experience here.


People keep looking for ways to control or change what is going on around them.

They hope and wish and take all kinds of action in an attempt to change the course of their future. They pray, they vote, and they ask the divine to intervene on their behalf. They do “risk analysis” to determine the best course of action before making decisions. They ask for advice because they don’t trust themselves to make decisions anymore.

If you’ve been around the new age woo-woo block before like I have, then you’re probably familiar with quite a few of the ideas, “energy work,” modalities and “camps” huddled under that umbrella.

One of the things that I love about so many of these ways of living is that they are based on positive feelings, actions, and beliefs. The single thing that I have found without exception is that no matter whether you believe it’s true or not, there are always some positive takeaways.

The Law of Attraction is no different. Regardless of your beliefs about the origin of the messages, the truth is that there is benefit to some of the ideas that the Law of Attraction espouses.

The basic premise of the Law of Attraction (or manifesting) is that your thoughts create your physical reality. Whatever you focus on (consciously or subconsciously) is what shows up in your life experience—both the good and the bad. That is to say that you can attract what you want or need if you practice the right approach.

But what is the right approach for attracting your wants and needs? You must understand that what you want and need is already all around you. You just need to know exactly what you want and then get into a position to get it.

At its most basic, here are the steps:

1. Ask. Be super clear on what you want. “I want a car” isn’t that specific. Do you want it to run? Roll? What color do you want?

2. Believe. This is often the hardest part. Act as if you have already received it. If you want to be happier, start acting like a happy person and doing what happy people do.

3. Receive. Start looking for evidence that what you want is coming. Be grateful when good things happen to you. Don’t you like giving presents to people who appreciate them?

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Spelled out like that, we should all have everything that we want—and nothing we don’t want.

Believe it or not, there are emphatically “anti” Law of Attraction folks out there, people who struggle to believe that they have “asked” for all the bad things (and the “conveniently forgotten” good things) in their lives. Some people can’t get on board with the Law of Attraction because they believe that what they see is reality, and “reality” cannot be changed.

For the most part, I agree with the “anti” Law of Attraction people. The Law of attraction doesn’t change true reality. True reality is fact. It is neither good nor bad; it simply is. It’s a process, a cycle. It might be likened to a physical entity that lives and breathes, grows and changes. It is the sum total of the things, people, and events in our life experience.

To clarify, here are some facts:

>> I have a place to live.

>>  I have a car.

>> I have a job.

>> I pay my bills.

There are no opinions here. I have these things.

But this is not reality as most of us know it. As humans, we have a tendency to add an additional layer of opinion and call that “reality.” Unfortunately, it’s the opinions and judgments that we apply to the things, people, and events in our experience which create problems for us.

So, if you have negative opinions about the things that make up your experience, then you have created your reality to be “bad.” Conversely, if you believe good things about your reality then you would have created your reality to be “good.” To be clear, it’s your opinion about your reality that creates the goodness or badness of your reality.

Let me show you how it works:

Fact: I have a job.

Opinion: I hate my job. My boss is a jerk. I wish I could quit. Result: Negative

Opinion: Sometimes, I get to help people and that makes me feel good. I like it when I am recognized for my efforts. Result: Positive

Fact: I have a car.

Opinion: It’s got less power than I want. It’s getting older and they don’t make this model anymore. Result: Negative

Opinion: I love its functionality. I has a great turning radius. I got the best color for that year model. I can take it wherever I want. Result: Positive

Can you see how focusing on the good aspects can help us feel more positively about our experiences?

But what happens when we can’t find or focus on the good aspects of something? What happens when we can only think about the bad things or the problems?

This is where tapping aka EFT—Emotional Freedom Technique can really change not only your opinion about your life but your whole world.

But what is tapping?

Tapping is a technique similar to Chinese acupressure. It utilizes several points on the body, which are tapped on, to provide relief from all kinds of issues, including but not limited to negative thoughts and feelings, pain, disorders, addictions, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder.

How do you do it?

Going back to the example, if all you can think about is how bad your job is or how much of a jerk your boss is, you are painfully aware of the negative. You see all the reasons why it isn’t what you want, or it can’t be how you want, or you can’t have what you desire.

These are the things that we tap on.

Notice that problem, memory, feeling, or whatever it is that lets you know it’s not positive, it isn’t good, or you can’t have better. You may focus on a particular event or segment in time that bothered you.

Aim at those thoughts and feelings while you tap according to the chart. You may say whatever you feel.

“He’s such a jerk.”

“They don’t appreciate me.”

“I wish I could quit.”

Tap several rounds aiming at the feeling you have about the person, place, or event. Take a deep breath after each round and check in with yourself. Has it changed? Notice how it is different. Continue in this manner until it shifts or until you get relief.

When things begin to shift, you can try adding in more positive statements.

“I feel like a contributor.”

“I like being helpful and supportive to my coworkers.”

These are just examples. You should use whatever positive aspects and feelings you are able to find.

Tapping is a wonderful adjunct to Law of Attraction or manifesting work because it can eliminate the negative feelings that we focus on which makes thinking positively easier! And thinking positively and feeling good is really what it’s all about.


Author: Christy Hall

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Image: Kelly Austin/Unsplash

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Christy Hall