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June 5, 2016

Why I Refuse to Wait Another Minute—for Anything.

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Last night I was watching Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium and in one scene, all the clocks in the toy store are set to 11:59, so they all chime, ding and cuckoo at the same time.

Just before it happens, Mr. Magorium whispers “37 seconds.”

Molly, the store manager, says, “Great. Well done. Now we wait.”

Mr. Magorium replies: “No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.”

This line hit me right where I am living.

I’ve been not waiting for a while now. Any time I find I have to wait for something or someone, I try to focus on my breath and make it an opportunity for something else.

For weeks now, I’ve known that I need a biopsy, but it has to be planned around my menstrual cycle and a specific technicians’ work schedule. Everything seems to be moving with painstaking slowness. But I’m not waiting—I’m breathing and living. I’m moving forward.

The only time I do remember to wait is when someone asks me what’s going on. They are expecting an update and I have nothing to say, so I guess I could describe it as waiting. But I’m not really waiting. I never really wait anymore.

I breathe, I create, I ingest.

Today I locked my keys in my car and someone had to come bail me out (Thanks, Mom). But I didn’t have to wait. I had the gift of some unexpected free time to do something unplanned. I walked over to the historic cemetery and strolled through the grounds. I stood on the city street and watched people pass by. I found a shady spot and enjoyed a warm breeze.

I wasn’t waiting. I was living, breathing, creating, ingesting.

I was using my moments. They’re my moments, after all. If I use them to wait for someone or something else, then I’ve given them away. Haven’t I?

I’ve decided to remove the word “waiting” from my vocabulary and instead change it to “using moments.”

Q: Hey, what are you doing?
A: I’m using my moments ’til the bus gets here.

Q: Did you hear from that recruiter yet?
A: No I’m using my moments until she calls.

Q: Have you heard anything from the doctor?
A: No, I’m still using my moments for other stuff.

That’s it. I’m never going to wait again! We should all refuse to keep waiting.

Breathe, pulse, regenerate, feel your heart beating, feel your mind creating, feel your soul ingesting.

Don’t waste one second waiting.

Use all your moments. Don’t give them away. They are yours.

Seize every one of them and use them. Make them moments well lived.

 

Author: Kim Stevens-Redstone

Editor: Nicole Cameron

Image: Day of Glory/Deviant Art

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Kim Stevens-Redstone