Dearest One 

I’m not sure why

you never responded to my texts or emails.

Hell, I don’t even know if you got them,

as you have ghosted me with vigor,

albeit per my demands.

I chose ignorance and denial.

You chose lies of omission and

carelessness with my heart.

Your hands wrapped around my throat

In a moment of confused intimacy

And then snap,

You broke me.

I was vulnerable,

You were a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

A predator of the worst kind.

I was desperate to ease my grief,

You were salve to my wounded heart.

Cosmically connected.

No, it was an illusion you have mastered

Time and time again,

with many more tricks up your sleeve.

Betrayal and

Shattered trust in the world.

I lie awake with the shame,

The regret,

The grief of a life I thought we had.

Going nuclear was well deserved;

Outing you for who you really are.

A gift of Truth

You do not deserve.

I am ravenous for the apology

I will never get.

So I apologized to myself.

And, as the anger and rage subsided

I asked myself what lesson this pain

was sent to teach me.

I let love in slowly and gently.

But marred for life.

I forgave myself

And I forgave you, for me.

Free now from your hot grasp.

Free now to love again.

 

~

Author: Corinne Milentijevic

Image: Unsplash

Editor: Travis May