November 17, 2016

I Buried my own Pleasure, until I met an Awakened Man. {Adult}

Aimanness Photography

He penetrates me with his steady gaze.

I am completely paralysed with excitement and pleasure. My heart seems to slow, my eyes scanning his for his next move. He has yet to even put a single finger on my skin.

I see flashes of the hunter and the hunted. Of course I am the main course—his prey in the most delicious way. I am hypnotised by his energetic ether in the air. I stare, unwavering, and open myself as an offering for him to devour me entirely, eagerly waiting. I anticipate his entrance in a sense of quiet shock.

When I am with him, it is as though I am under a wave. It washes over me, I slowly drift underneath and there I stay—suspended.

There is such a difference between a man who wields his sword consciously and a man who is all unconscious thrusting—who wants a conquest of battle or to be a king. After all, the mind and heart drive this flesh. When he moves in me, my entire being is permeated, the thin energetic membrane between him and I completely dissolves. He saturates my entire being. I feel him moving through me. It is overwhelming. All of the pieces I have tried to hide, tried to protect, tried to bury, are ripped open and released.

I have never experienced making love to a man like this. He is hungry but there is no urgency. No pressing me to climax. There is only wanting to meet my soul—to merge with it—like an explorer diving into the deep mysteries of a foreign planet. It’s the stuff of every woman’s dreams.

He stares at me, waiting for me to be able to open my eyes and look at him for more than a few minutes at a time. He pierces my emotional defenses until painful memories release and I start to feel myself deeply. He wants my liberation, he wants my healing, he wants my heart. He is the exact energy the mystic within every woman waits lifetimes for and he is mine for this eternal moving moment—inside me, meeting me, feeling me, consuming me, merging with me.

He is a man who has never stopped asking questions. He wanted more for himself—more landscapes of pleasure to traverse. Women have so many different kinds of orgasm, different forms of pleasure but men are often reduced to 20 minutes tops before the same old release and resign.

He wanted more, past the uncontrollable spilling of his essence and then complete and utter deflation. So he learned to reserve his essence and route his pleasure through his entire body. It is absolutely divine and delicious to witness.

He presses into me, never ceasing to scan every movement.

The little me feels like running, feels like I am not good enough to meet him in this completely open state. I have been holding onto this pain for so long, but I know surrendering will be my only savior—the only way to access my heart again.

My spirit squirms in surprise at the intensity of it all and at the same time my emotional body is elated to find that someone like him—someone so right—has finally come to the gates of my mind, body and soul. He heals me by giving me back to myself.

I had buried my own pleasure—I was always in service.

I never had time to give myself what I wanted (so I would tell myself). How fast could I bring myself to a boil? Oh, I could achieve climax in record time. The McDonald’s form of sex. But now here is this man and he is serving me a gourmet six course meal. This man who is timeless. We could make love for eternity.

He has rewired me. I have to slow down to meet him. I have to meet myself again to be able to meet him—to expand into myself and what I truly desire once and for all. It is tragic to see how much of myself I had lost on the battlefield of love, yet exquisite to know that there are new horizons to journey.

As he unfolds each aspect of me I move through transcendental states of altered consciousness like a medicine ceremony. I just can’t orgasm through my typical means anymore. He has rerouted my entire body. It feels like my inner channels are opening. When he plugs into me with his consciousness he raises me to my highest potential.

He is my guide. He enters me and leads us on, and I am the gatekeeper to the endless and vast possibilities of where we may go. I cannot wait to explore more of this new, mysterious space.

I am beginning to understand the true potential of sexual alchemy and I am so grateful that this unicorn man exists, after all.


Author: Jocelyn Daher

Image: Aimanness Photography

Editor: Khara-Jade Warren

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