I Buried my own Pleasure, until I met an Awakened Man. {Adult}


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Aimanness Photography

He penetrates me with his steady gaze.

I am completely paralysed with excitement and pleasure. My heart seems to slow, my eyes scanning his for his next move. He has yet to even put a single finger on my skin.

I see flashes of the hunter and the hunted. Of course I am the main course—his prey in the most delicious way. I am hypnotised by his energetic ether in the air. I stare, unwavering, and open myself as an offering for him to devour me entirely, eagerly waiting. I anticipate his entrance in a sense of quiet shock.

When I am with him, it is as though I am under a wave. It washes over me, I slowly drift underneath and there I stay—suspended.

There is such a difference between a man who wields his sword consciously and a man who is all unconscious thrusting—who wants a conquest of battle or to be a king. After all, the mind and heart drive this flesh. When he moves in me, my entire being is permeated, the thin energetic membrane between him and I completely dissolves. He saturates my entire being. I feel him moving through me. It is overwhelming. All of the pieces I have tried to hide, tried to protect, tried to bury, are ripped open and released.

I have never experienced making love to a man like this. He is hungry but there is no urgency. No pressing me to climax. There is only wanting to meet my soul—to merge with it—like an explorer diving into the deep mysteries of a foreign planet. It’s the stuff of every woman’s dreams.

He stares at me, waiting for me to be able to open my eyes and look at him for more than a few minutes at a time. He pierces my emotional defenses until painful memories release and I start to feel myself deeply. He wants my liberation, he wants my healing, he wants my heart. He is the exact energy the mystic within every woman waits lifetimes for and he is mine for this eternal moving moment—inside me, meeting me, feeling me, consuming me, merging with me.

He is a man who has never stopped asking questions. He wanted more for himself—more landscapes of pleasure to traverse. Women have so many different kinds of orgasm, different forms of pleasure but men are often reduced to 20 minutes tops before the same old release and resign.

He wanted more, past the uncontrollable spilling of his essence and then complete and utter deflation. So he learned to reserve his essence and route his pleasure through his entire body. It is absolutely divine and delicious to witness.

He presses into me, never ceasing to scan every movement.

The little me feels like running, feels like I am not good enough to meet him in this completely open state. I have been holding onto this pain for so long, but I know surrendering will be my only savior—the only way to access my heart again.

My spirit squirms in surprise at the intensity of it all and at the same time my emotional body is elated to find that someone like him—someone so right—has finally come to the gates of my mind, body and soul. He heals me by giving me back to myself.

I had buried my own pleasure—I was always in service.

I never had time to give myself what I wanted (so I would tell myself). How fast could I bring myself to a boil? Oh, I could achieve climax in record time. The McDonald’s form of sex. But now here is this man and he is serving me a gourmet six course meal. This man who is timeless. We could make love for eternity.

He has rewired me. I have to slow down to meet him. I have to meet myself again to be able to meet him—to expand into myself and what I truly desire once and for all. It is tragic to see how much of myself I had lost on the battlefield of love, yet exquisite to know that there are new horizons to journey.

As he unfolds each aspect of me I move through transcendental states of altered consciousness like a medicine ceremony. I just can’t orgasm through my typical means anymore. He has rerouted my entire body. It feels like my inner channels are opening. When he plugs into me with his consciousness he raises me to my highest potential.

He is my guide. He enters me and leads us on, and I am the gatekeeper to the endless and vast possibilities of where we may go. I cannot wait to explore more of this new, mysterious space.

I am beginning to understand the true potential of sexual alchemy and I am so grateful that this unicorn man exists, after all.


Author: Jocelyn Daher

Image: Aimanness Photography

Editor: Khara-Jade Warren


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Javita Indra Nauth May 24, 2017 2:46am

Wow. This is so exquisite.

Alexandra Carvalho - Jayada May 20, 2017 10:15am

May I recomend you David Deida books.... Thanks for being. :)

Katheryn Hanauer Mar 11, 2017 11:15pm

I've had this only once in my life for 2 years.. but I guess our passion and love burned too bright. Now I can't imagine ever giving myself to another man like that again because I know it will never be like the magic we had.

Corinna Koblar Jan 14, 2017 4:37pm

wow <3

Whitney Di-Pietro Jan 12, 2017 1:29am

Loved this! The about section needs an edit though! :)

David Yuro Dec 1, 2016 10:49pm

I've read just enough of these to believe that you are all full of shit. Women don't want sensitve awakened men. They want just the opposite. And we men have been hanging out looking for those women and found none. Fact is, men want the wrong people and women want the wrong people. So stop whining. Y'all wouldn't know a senstive man if he walked up and kissed you. And you wouldn't care. All that matters is looks.

She An Nov 23, 2016 3:52am

Profoundly deep and resonating with what many would love to feel/sense and do. Would love to hear the tips from your male partner on how to achieve this state of mind and art of making/sharing love

Ryan De Gregorio Wizford Nov 23, 2016 1:47am

beautifully written, thank you <3

Thr Dor Nov 22, 2016 10:33pm

Thank you for sharing

Lulu Styles Nov 20, 2016 3:32pm

Wow. Thank you for a divine offering in what you wrote & articulated!!!! Sincerely!!! @wakeuplulu

Anna Kelly Nov 19, 2016 9:36pm


Josh Clark Nov 19, 2016 6:57pm

DrBabar Ahmed If you are looking for a book, David Deida is an author you should check out. Here is one book to start with and it is quick read. https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479581775&sr=8-1&keywords=way+of+the+superior+man

Boris Subotic Nov 19, 2016 4:27pm

Thanks all...

DrBabar Ahmed Nov 19, 2016 3:08pm

Thank you. I highly appreciated your guidance.

Stephen Tredrea Nov 19, 2016 2:29pm

DrBabar, I greatly appreciate that you've asked - that you're interested and willing to find out. This is not possible to answer in a quick comment and I don't know off-hand of any specific book, exercise or resource (although there is lots out there). I will though attempt to point you in a few directions with some ideas. The first is to do your own personal work to heal the deep wounds of your life so far, as well as your family and cultural heritage, whatever these are for you. In particular, those relating to sexuality, love, acceptance and masculine-feminine relationships (within and without) - all the shame, humiliation, guilt, betrayal, anger, loss, failures that you have or do experience. Basically, make it 100% your responsiblity to love yourself completely and unconditionally without expectation of anyone else. The second is to recalibrate your sexuality such that you become deeply intimate with yourself - your desires, feelings, sensitivity, pleasure, joy, fears, sadness. You learn to self-pleasure with absolute revernce and 100% presence - your attention focused entirely on yourself, feeling and sensing into the subtlest, delicate neauance throughout your entire body. You resensitise your entire body to feel the essence of subtle, energetic viration - a deep interest and curiousity with zero expection or goal. Simply being deeply present in each neaunced moment. Basically, make it 100% your responsiblity to MAKE love with yourself completely and unconditionally without expectation of anyone else OR ANY OUTCOME.

DrBabar Ahmed Nov 19, 2016 9:56am

Is there any book or exercise or resource where a man may achieve to become this kind of unicorn? I'm completely new to this.

Clark Wolfe Nov 19, 2016 8:23am

Unselfishness with strength of self.

DrBabar Ahmed Nov 19, 2016 7:34am

How would a guy learn how to create such a state in a woman?

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Jocelyn Daher

Jocelyn Daher is a Transformational Coach, mom of an Earth Angel with Down’s Syndrome and Empathic Guide. She sees every person as an extension of her family. Her passion is reminding humanity how to love, in hopes to ignite the memory that we are in fact a walking embodiment of universal perfection! Did you resonate with this article? If so check out her website.