December 1, 2016

For the Women who are Trying to Do & Be Everything to Everyone.



I watch you trying in vain to please everyone but yourself.

I see you bending over backwards, wrought and weary with stress, contorting your being into impossible shapes in an attempt to do everything.

To be everything, so perfectly. And then suffering silently because of it.

I watch you race to keep up with expectations, judgments and demands, most of which are created and contained in your own mind. Self-imposed and self-inflicted.

I ask you, the woman I see—how are you, really?

Is this unfulfilled existence how your life is meant to be lived? To be experienced? To be remembered?

Trying so hard leaves only destruction, self-destruction. And a bucket full of moments missed out on, filled with countless unrealized dreams.

It’s not supposed to be like this. Life is not meant to be a pail full of regret and resentment.

To the woman I see, this is my wish for you:

A heart overflowing with joy; a mind filled with cherished memories. Love endlessly given and received. Dreams realized. An abundance of enough of whatever you need. Spontaneity. Joy. Laughter. Happiness.

Most of all, I wish you self-acceptance and inner peace.

You are not alone. Every woman knows what you are going through. An unquenchable thirst to feel good enough. A hunger that comes from deep within our gut to feel worthy, smart, sexy, skinny, secure, loved. Or whatever we are starving for.

We have either been there or still are. We have all experienced this thirst, this hunger, and the desperate attempts to satisfy our own demands and expectations.

To do everything.

To be everything.

We do this because we have lost ourselves. We have forgotten who we are.

Could today be the day to do ourselves a much-needed favor?

To take a moment to find ourselves again?

To remember who we are?

Please say yes.

Put yourself first for once. Even for a moment. This moment.

To the woman I see, I ask you:

What do you need? What do you want? What would serve you? What would be best for you?

Right here, right now?

Do that. Be that—even for a moment.

And in this moment of just being, remember the one thing that we all have forgotten at some point in our lives.

You are enough, exactly as you are. You are so much more than enough—you just forgot.

Stop trying so hard and watch what happens.

In this moment of pause, allow yourself to remember who you are. What you want. What your dreams are. What you’re worth.

What is the worst that could happen if you just stopped? Stopped trying to make everything perfect? Stopped feeling so insecure? Stopped the story you play inside your head?

What if you just stopped?

What if you didn’t try so hard and just let the rest of the world be? Be disappointed. Be upset.

What if we allowed the world to be whatever it wanted to be, and surrendered to that outcome, regardless of what it was? What if we put ourselves first for this one moment.

What if the world around you, including your children, your partner, your boss and even your pets or plants, surprised you with their response? What if they were happy, overjoyed, completely grateful? What if they grew taller (even the plants), because you finally put yourself first?

Because you finally stopped trying so hard to do everything, to be everything—remembering that you are already everything. And always have been.

What if today was that day? And this was your moment?

What if?

This is for you: the woman I see every day, in the mirror.

And for the woman you see staring back at you, eyes filled with vulnerability and hope.

Do yourself a favor and stop trying so hard. To do everything. To be everything. And just let it all go.

You are enough in every way. You are good enough. Strong enough. Sexy enough. Smart enough. Brave enough. Brilliant enough.

Pause for just a moment to put yourself first, to remember. To catch a glimpse of your radiant magnificence.

Today is that day and this is your moment.


Author: Crystal Flaman

Image: Pixabay

Editor: Nicole Cameron

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Melina Powers Dec 17, 2016 5:02am

"What do you need? What do you want? What would serve you? What would be best for you?" <3

Sara Rodriguez Dec 5, 2016 1:52am

A beautiful and powerful reminder. Thank you for these lovely words.

Pamela Lynch Dec 2, 2016 4:58am

Dear lovely Crystal Flaman. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart, and asking questions that long to be asked. Yes, the answer is yes.

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Crystal Flaman

Crystal Flaman is a Social Entrepreneur, Author, 11 x Ironman Triathlete and 273 km Ultra-marathoner. Her personal mission in life is to make a difference in the world, and she has raised over 1.4 million dollars for various charities through her work and athletic endeavors. She has completed the second hardest footrace in the world—a 273 km multi-day, self-supported, running race through the desert and scaling mountains, carrying all of her food, clothing and supplies that she would need throughout the race. Twice.

She is also the owner of the Kelowna International Hostel, an international travelers hostel in BC, Canada, and Inspiring Success Services Inc. She’s the creator of Imagine The Ripple Effect and the Inspiring Tin Of Wisdom, that now has seven different themes, as well as the author of The 90 Day Intentional Living Challenge and has recently written Living The Dream (Simple Ideas To Live A Long, Healthy and Happy Life).

Crystal’s ultimate purpose in life is to inspire others to discover their own unique gifts and talents and share them with the world. She believes that as we move from success towards significance in our own lives, sharing our innate talents and listening to our intuition, we may find true joy, happiness and satisfaction. She also believes that health is of utmost importance and that it’s time to put our health first in life, so that we may be able to live that long, healthy and happy life we dream of and hope for.

Crystal is the eighth child in a family of 10 children and grew up on a farm in Saskatchewan. She loves reading as much as possible, writing, exploring nutrition, alternative health and wellness along with camping, traveling, cooking, playing the guitar (poorly) and singing (only when alone in the car). Crystal lives with her fiance Dany and their two very spoiled cats.