Giving a fuck was always a top priority for me—or so it seemed.
I gave many a fuck, giving them away freely and with passion.
However, I’m super tired of giving out all my fucks, and not getting anything in return to show for my generosity. Throughout my life, I’ve cared about everything and everyone. I’ve been a great listener and I have actively sought out approval. I have put so much effort and energy into giving a fuck that it has practically eaten me alive.
Starting today, I decided that the only way I can change my life for the better and be less stressed out is to stop giving away all of my fucks . All of us only have so many fucks to give in our life-time. I have given so many that I only have a few fucks left in my fuck basket. I must conserve the few I do have left and reserve them for special circumstances. To do that, I am eliminating eight things from my life that I used to give a fuck about.
Here are the 8 things I no longer give a fuck about:
1. Big vacations and material things.
Yes, sure they are fun, but are they honestly worth my time? Must I have that stupid $160 J. Crew Blazer or live in a giant house? I mean, really, who gives a fuck?
Not one person in my life, including me, cares about my clothes or where I live. My friends and family don’t really give a fuck about where I’ve traveled too. They might want to hear a story or two about my trip to New Orleans, but let’s face it, they don’t give a huge fuck about it, and frankly, neither do I— even though it was fun.
2. Being right all the time.
Go ahead. Talk your politics and talk your religion. Spark it up, peeps. I’m not that fish biting on your hook anymore.
I no longer give a fuck about trying to prove you wrong by dropping all my knowledge bombs into your baited conversations. So, you like Mr. Trump? Good for you, you have your reasons I suppose, but I no longer care to enlighten you or point out the mounting piles of evidence that show how I think you are misguided.
3.Having a “great” body.
What the hell is a great body anyway? Is it strong? Thin? Muscular? Is it smooth and lean from endless hours of yoga and pilates? Is “young” the only true and necessary requirement?. The definition of a “great body” varies far and wide, and I know I will never fully fit into any established ideal. I plan to simply go on my merry way, exercising and eating right to feel good, and yes, not giving a fuck about whether my body is “great” or not.
Enough is enough with the miracle creams, and trips to the dermatologist for sandblasting treatments. I’m done shelling out tons of dough in an effort to erase time. News flash: we can’t erase time. Time is here to stay whether it’s on our side or not! We must wear our time like bad ass badges of honor.
Make no mistake, wrinkles completely suck, but they suck less when we stop giving a fuck about them.
5. The past.
The past is over, baby. Long gone. And it ain’t coming back, so why should I spend time thinking about it so much? What purpose does it serve to wallow in my regrets or nostalgically re-live the celebration of my accomplishments?
The past has very little to do with my present, which is actually something I do give a fuck about.
6. What other people think of me.
Hey there, Judgey McJudgington. Not so nice to meet you. Guess what? I don’t give a fuck about your approval anymore. Why? When I care too much about what you think, I find myself meekly and tentatively living my life for you instead of myself. What the f*ck for?
I refuse to go to my grave seeking approval from anyone but my grandmother. I will not glean my self-esteem from the adoration and acceptance of others because I fit their version of what’s acceptable. Sorry, it’s not worth any of the fucks in my basket.
True failure only comes when we give up. When I try something new, and fail at it, it’s not the end of the world.
I will no longer give any extra-long or heavy fucks about it. It may be painful for a bit, but I refuse to let myself get all wrapped up in extending the disappointment. Success often comes in fits and starts. Learning comes from failing a little–or a lot—along the way, and the journey itself is arguably way more important than the final destination.
8. I no longer give a fuck about other people’s drama .
You’re in a fight with your mom? Your sister? Aren’t you like 50 years old? I just can’t give a fuck anymore about your unresolved issues. I’ll always be your friend. I’m here to listen, but for crying out loud, figure it out and stop roping me in to wade in your rocky waters. I have my own set of slippery fucks to take care of, thank you.
Here’s the thing. The older I get, the less fucks I have to give to unimportant things. I give a fuck about kindness and equality in all forms, generosity, peaceful solutions, the environment, coffee, beaches, books, the moon, facts, and my family and friends. I give double fucks for defenseless babies, children, and small furry creatures, but that’s about it.
When we drop the unimportant fucks off our trucks, we become lighter. Maybe we even become more enlightened.
Author: Kimberly Valzania
Image: justine warrington/Flickr
Editor: Deb Jarrett