Seven years ago I was in hell.
Dramatic statement though that may seem, I can imagine no place on earth that would make me feel more miserable and less alive.
I had given up on my childhood and young adult aspiration of writing. Putting words on paper seemed as far removed from my life as it could possibly be.
My five-year relationship, which had lasted four years longer than it should have, was drawing to a dismal end. My life consisted of a joyless job and walking on eggshells around a man whose explosive personality I had encountered on one too many occasions.
In a last ditch effort to resurrect it, the hopeful little fairy that I am booked tickets for the two of us for a cruise to Fiji.
The holiday had a special significance to me. Not only was there the promise of two weeks in paradise, but the journey included the opportunity to meet Dr. Wayne Dyer and attend his “Seminar at Sea.”
As luck would have it, my partner could not make the trip and contrary to my nature, instead of canceling it, I decided to go without him.
I was excited. Dr. Dyer held such importance in my life. There were many nights I would listen to his talks on my iPod. In those dark nights, when I didn’t seem to have a friend in the world, he was the kind voice that convinced me that tomorrow might be worth waking up to. My lighthouse.
I was not disappointed.
One morning, as I waited for the door to open for the seminar session, I overheard a woman next to me mention that there was to be a two-day writers’ workshop aboard the ship the next day.
The day before, Dr. Dyer had been talking about signs, synchronicities and invisible threads of fate.
I felt more than a gentle nudge to attend.
I found myself in a room full of writers, aspiring and accomplished. I was equally daunted and excited. When prompted by a simple quote, 44 words spilled out onto the paper.
It was a turning point, my soul made manifest, my note to self.
I left the relationship. Once I had witnessed my soul’s message, I knew it had spoken my truth and there was no going back, no matter how unsure my future seemed.
My soul’s message has never let me down.
I submitted those 44 words to elephant journal. I submitted more words, and then more again. I continued to pour my soul onto the paper. I wrote well and I wrote mountains of absolute rubbish, but I kept on writing.
Today, I work for elephant journal.
The writing prompt we were given that day was this:
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~ Lao Tzu
Many times I sought the lighthouse
The familiar beam in the dark
Looking for the comfort
Radiating from its spark;
Today I turn that inwards
No longer am I the seeker
I am not just the lighthouse,
I am the light—
And lighthouse keeper.
What stories do you tell yourself that contradict the calling of your soul?
I would tell myself that I had left things too late. I would tell myself that I would probably accomplish all I wanted to achieve in another lifetime. I would use phrases like, “If I had to do it all again….” or, “If only I had taken that job as an apprentice journalist.”
No excuse satisfies your soul. Your soul knows it is never too late.
So, I ask, what story are you holding on to that no longer serves you? Who or what are you blaming for keeping you from living the life you long for?
We know our own answers. Seek within.
It is in our quiet moments we find the part of us that knows.
Author: Lieselle Davidson
Editor: Travis May