“Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.”Â
Oh, except my Mum.
She was stirring. Actually, she was huffing, puffing, swearing, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, washing and wheezing.
“Mum, what are you doing?” I asked.
Frantically, she answered,“Everyoneâ€™s coming for Christmas tomorrow. We have to get this place tidy!”
“But, Mum, theyâ€™re yourÂ family. The place looks cleaner than it has all year. They wonâ€™t care.”
Who cares what people think?Â I thought. Itâ€™s just people.
Oh, how innocent I was. Little did I know, I was next in line to inherit the dreaded gene.
The gene that would turn me intoÂ a, gasp, people-pleaser!
If youâ€™re reading this article, you either are one, or you know one. Believe me, I understand how exhausting it is.
As “people-pleasers,” we canâ€™t stand to be disliked. We often have to change the way we speak or act when we are around other people, so as to not disappoint them.
We say “yes” when we desperately want to say “no,” because we donâ€™t want to let anyone down. We often get caught in the middle of crossfires, because we can never stand to choose a side. We simply cannot bear the thought of being a disappointment in any way, shape or form.
For me, the most tiresome element about being a “people-pleaser” is the unnecessary worries I encounter. I worry about what people think of me, or I think I need to change to suit others.
The following quotes empower me to release my “people-pleasing” nature, and to accept that we just canâ€™t please everyone. Sometimes people simply donâ€™t like us, or donâ€™t like something that we say or do, and thatâ€™s “okay.”
Their opinion of us does not define us:
1. â€śLife is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.â€ť ~Â C. JoyBell C.
2. â€śOne of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.â€ť ~Â Â Shannon L. Alder
3. â€śYour time is way too valuable to be wasting on people that can’t accept who you are.â€ťÂ ~ Turcois Ominek
4. â€śYour need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.â€ť ~Â Jim Carrey
5. â€śWhen you stop living your life based on what others think of you real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self acceptance opened.â€ťÂ ~ Shannon L. Alder
6. â€śYou can please some of the people all of the time; all of the people some of the time and some of the people NONE of the time, and these are the people you PRAY for ALL of the time.â€ťÂ ~ Margareat McBride Â Â
7. â€śDonâ€™t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you canâ€™t love and respect yourself â€“ no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are â€“ completely; the good and the bad—and make changes as YOU see fit—not because you think someone else wants you to be different.â€ť ~Â Stacey Charter
8. â€śNo one can make you feel inferior without your consent.â€ť ~Â Eleanor Roosevelt
9. â€śBecause one believes in oneself, one doesnâ€™t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesnâ€™t need othersâ€™ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.â€ť ~Â Lao-Tzu
10. â€śTo be truly positive in the eyes of some, you have to risk appearing negative in the eyes of others.â€ť ~Â Criss Jami, Killosophy
11. â€śDonâ€™t worry if people think youâ€™re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who theyâ€™re destined to be.â€ťÂ ~ Jennifer Elisabeth, Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl
12. â€śIn trying to please all, he had pleased none.â€ťÂ ~ Aesop, Aesop’s Fables
13. â€śIf you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourselfâ€ťÂ ~ Jocelyn Murray
14. â€śWhile being you and truly sharing what you do will bring happiness to others, you won’t find contentment merely trying to keep others happy.â€ť Â ~ Rasheed Ogunlaru
15. â€śWhy should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?â€ťÂ ~ Brigham Young
16. â€śNever seek to please anyone. Seek to evolve thyself.â€ť ~Â Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind
17. â€śWe cannot please all men but we can be a blessing to many.â€ť ~Â Mac Canoza
Author:Â Emily Corbett
Image: Author’s Own
Editor: Deb Jarrett