We exhaust ourselves, searching for that vivid, heart pounding and illustrious love we’ve dreamed of for so long—yet it seems to elude us all the same.
We wander through our lives in the hope that someday we’ll be living out the dream of a picturesque romance, a truly intimate relationship with our rightful mate.
I’m guilty of chasing after love and believing, while intoxicated by its essence, that a cure is being brought to me, but time continues to teach me that no matter how long I may chase after it, I’m plagued by my own devastating emotional shortcomings. Once this becomes evident, the truth sets in—that this love was never meant to work out—along with a looming heartache and deep sense of dread. Things are not what they seemed to be and I’m still treading water in the same pool of suffering after all these years.
There are times when I am beside myself—disconnected from the love surrounding me while I tread the waters of loneliness and, often, contempt and despair. For whatever purpose or reason, this is the path I’m on and no doubt, some would look in on my reflection and say that it’s because I’m emotionally unavailable.
Accepting this notion helps me endure the moments of desperation, longing and seeking that mask the eternal connection I naturally resonate with, yet am too often deterrent of. I’ve tried so many kinds of love on for size and have still ended up feeling alone in the end (or lacking self-love).
We fail to come to terms with issues that began in another place in time and instead, shield the wounds that we’ve subconsciously allowed to hold us back from our original, loving embodiment.
So many of us are willing to dive into the pursuit of loving another, while repressing our own inner turmoil and preventing love from flourishing within—a mutual act of disempowerment, which allows us to regress. The whirlwind of external attention and adoration lifts our spirits and we feel as though we could weather any storm with the right person by our side.
But for some, the issues which have plagued us for so long are bound to disrupt our lives, and when we become conscious of our behaviors or tendencies, the wiser decision for many is to surrender to whatever healing is necessary—alone.
In doing so, we avoid collateral emotional and mental damage, involving others in the drama and inevitable pain that is otherwise our sole responsibility to sort out.
Just last night, my reality came careening back to the forefront of my consciousness and once again, old wounds were brought to light for deeper examination, healing and resolve. Such an upset can often deflate our sense of self and bring us into crisis mode.
If we are willing to sit with it and systematically let go of the people, places, things and circumstances we have no control over, we can then create space from the resulting void to allow an influx of love to surge through us. This requires tender care, sympathy for any wrongdoings and compassion for our wounded, childlike state.
We give in. We give up. We surrender to ourselves.
Rather than dwelling on what’s beyond our own control, we must focus on remaining present with our inner dialogue and teaching ourselves to offer the same love and care to self, instead of saving that connection and intimacy solely for others. We’re piercing the veil of illusion brought on by no one other than ourselves.
We’re giving ourselves permission to be loving, while forgiving any past mistakes that we no longer need to carry around.
And it can be difficult bearing witness to who we truly are.
With every wound we resolve, our spirit heals, in abidance with our body’s natural inclination toward health. Instead of driving ourselves crazy interpreting or analyzing it too much, we must choose to drop the weight or attachment we’ve carried around for too many moons—even if the relief is only temporary.
Oh, it will be painful. Tears will be shed. We’ll begin to feel once more, no longer so numb and cold.
Sometimes soulmates “bounce off” one another for this specific reason—to enlighten each other, to help forgive and heal past wounds.
When it gets tough, being a lonely heart committed to one’s individual healing journey, especially on a day like Valentine’s, we can remember to go outside and walk around barefoot, observe whatever wildlife surrounds us, immerse ourselves in presence and contemplation, hug a tree or silently communicate to flowers and plants how much we love them and are grateful for the space we’re sharing. I promise they’ll reciprocate with boundless love.
We’re merely paying attention to our surroundings, knowing that the Universe, is also observing and reacting to our nature—communicating with us energetically, subliminally, compassionately—a witness to whatever healing we’re willing to allow. She is our healing agent. An abundance of life and imminent love surrounds us, exponentially.
There are infinite healing insights that the natural world can provide us that are often overlooked. My loneliest days have been consoled by time in the field. Letting go of worldly distractions and surrendering to the stillness offers us a glance at the true meaning behind this life—our individual purpose we’re meant to fulfill.
So much remains a mystery. There’s nothing to sort out, because we already possess the answer, but can find it incredibly hard to unearth at times, due to our tendency to seek. But our suffering is all in the mind, and if untreated, can eventually surface as some sort of ailment.
The mind may, out of fear, exhibit resistance to letting go and giving into ultimate forgiveness, but the moment we are courageous enough to face it—face ourselves and the role we’re playing—we become a fountain of love, flourishing internally while emanating that same embrace outward beyond us.
Love intrinsically binds all of creation as one inseparable, sentient life-form.
Author: Thayne Ulschmid
Image: Wikimedia Commons
Editor: Nicole Cameron