The Meaning of True Love (from a Buddhist’s Perspective).
Did you ever fell in love with someone?
I did.
Love and longing can drive anyone to perpetually clinging to an object of desire, with no end in sight—a need that can never quite be satisfied, a thirst that can never be quenched.
Can the love of falling in love outweigh the fear of “falling”…?
I guess the moment you fall in love with someone, you’re in the moment, and it’s only afterwards that you’re able to make the analysis, and even realize you were in love. Falling implies surrendering—being out of the mind, or out of your mind! Falling means you’re going somewhere. What happens when you “land“?
Where do you find yourself? Floating on air, on land or in hot water?
What does it mean to fall in love or be in love, or even stay in love?
In Buddhism, striving for that which is outside of our true nature, is seen as wasteful. Arbitrarily seeking fulfillment in another is an attachment based on a craving which will always ultimately end in suffering. Perhaps in this searching one can take one step closer to finding one’s true nature, one’s true vocation, one’s true purpose.
Time is so short—the memories are fading away. Truth is a cascade of moments. Enjoy the breath, flowing in and out ceaselessly like the waves on the shore in timeless perfection. This is the only true reality.
Even if you die for your lover, is that not sacrificing something that is not yours to give?
In loving you, I love myself, but in loving myself selfishly I neglect you.
In living for you, I forget my own needs.
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Ken Wilber said:
“Real love will take you far beyond yourself; and therefore real love will devastate you.”
Is this true? When you sink your hand into another’s spirit and meet emptiness, how can you not feel the wound of love? When the love of your life leaves you, how can you not be left empty? But can love leave a wound and why should emptiness leave you bereft? How can real love devastate you when real love is the absence of superficial egoic needs, the absence of falsehood, and all real love is the presence, and the present? With love, there can be emptiness, but no feeling of emptiness.
Can you actually remove love…can it ever be extinguished or forgotten?
If love is the presence, the sacred consciousness, the Divine expansiveness, is it possible to subtract from it, remove from it, and delete it from your consciousness? Is it possible to forget it?
Love is an experience of being whole. When we link it to another, we become dependent on that other for the fulfillment or satisfaction of our love fantasy. True love does not require a vehicle for its fulfillment or expression.
Osho said that “love demands nothing. It simply shares.”
Photo: Show Biz Superstar
Another way to look at it is within the context of the first of Buddha’s noble truths—“life is dukkha.”
Dukkha is divided into suffering, change and conditioned states.
1. Suffering.
Consciousness as the created form, or the potentiation of thoughts, fills the universal ether. This immediately creates an existential loneliness, which can never be entirely filled until it (the creation) is no longer separate from the formlessness of Divine consciousness. This separation is loneliness. This is the suffering part of dukkha—the separation from God.
2. Change.
This world of created forms, and as yet uncreated potential is always changing. As we enter it, we change, and eventually pass through it, to the beyond. One thing is certain—the fluid of life is a changing stream.
3. Conditioned states.
We are affected by everything around us. Energy created can never be destroyed; it is merely transferred/transformed to evolve into a new form. Thus everything that “is” affects everything else that “is.” The spider weaves its web, creating a living matrix of awareness.
We experience romantic love within the context of these three aspects of creation. We suffer most when we are in fear. Sometimes the pain can seem insurmountable…we can seem alone in the vast expansive universe. Yet, at its core, suffering is an illusion.
Our fear of suffering is often far worse than the suffering itself.
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
~ Woody Allen
To be identified with something outside of yourself, is to invite suffering.
Suffering is derived from perceiving a loss.
Authentic love is whole, complete and, in essence, beyond suffering. The absence of love is suffering. The illusion of loss leads to suffering. When something dies, you don’t lose it, because you never owned it. We suffer most when we are attached to the illusion. True love does not leave a wound when it is lost, because true love can never be lost. Once created, “it” exists forever within the unity of the Divine sphere. The divine conversation of love is something beyond a mere notion or discussion—it is alive, filled with the budding possibility of a butterfly about to open its wings for the first time.
Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
~ Anonymous
Rumi asks,
“Oh lovers, where are you going? Who are you looking for? Your beloved is right here.”
Love: Ceaselessly searching for the ultimate feeling of completion. That which is searched for, exists already within.
photo: ketrin1407
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Incorrect source, offensive, or found a typo? Or do you want to write for Elephant?
Very well written, I enjoyed every moment that I read this piece.
Good article, though i do not agree on the way you introduce the concept and word “God” in the Dukkha concept, i find it confusing. And from what i have heard “god” is not included in the buddhist teachings i’ve received so far. Perhaps i am wrong.
Maybe the concept of "God"has a new meaning in the year of 2013 than 2000 BC. People used to believe the earth was flat…
Very true. The word God is loaded with theistic concepts totally unsuitable to be ensconced within an article that is titled The Meaning of True Love (from a Buddhist’s Perspective). God is anathema within Buddhism as this concept cannot be divested from it's historical and theistic theological colourings no matter how much New Agers try to reinterpret it . Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines God with a Capital thus:- capitalized : the supreme or ultimate reality: as
a : the Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe
b Christian Science : the incorporeal divine Principle ruling over all as eternal Spirit : infinite Mind .All these concepts go against the basic principle of interdependent origination which one of the major cornerstone of Buddhism.The Tathagatagarbha or Buddha Nature is not just a Buddhist substitute for God.The rest of the article was very beautiful, however
God is Within
Love is Within
Never a separation or absent of God if you truly know who God really is
The meaning of true love to me: Love is not suffering since life is not suffering. The word of suffering put negativity in life. Life is life, either good or bad (the paradox of life)
Love is the flow of energy from one entity to another. When you feel the energy flow you feel life and you feel love. When that energy flow ceases that is the end of it.
However, the energy has not dissipated or evaporated into thin air…the energy has transformed into a different form in a different dimension…that is the nature of energy and the nature of love…One must learn to adopt and embrace change: good or bad…Love always and live freely
Great article. Gotta point out that with the exception of Wilber, who is at most "33% Buddhist," none of the quotes are Buddhist. That said, they're not less valid for not being Buddhist, just saying that the title or thesis may not quite fit.
Buddhist view of love, as I have been taught, has a lot to do with being willing to be open, lonely but cheerful, to care deeply enough about the other to give up attachment to being right, but at the same time being willing to invest critical, caring feedback in that person…to refuse to lean on or cling to them, and yet to walk the path, facing the same direction, together, and to help one another. Basically friendship, but incredibly deeply rooted and with some spark of humor and attraction, hopefully.
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2009/02/chogyam-tr…
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/02/pema-chodr…
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/04/the-buddhi…
And on that note, much love to you! Beautiful article.
Blogging about Buddhism, kind of like putting Bible verses on cereal boxes.
One could get equally profound wisdom from a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s soap.
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[...] The Meaning of True Love (from a Buddhist’s Perspective). (elephantjournal.com) [...]
Blogging about Buddhism is like writing about life, you can write or you can live it! I like to read authors who do both. Personally I read and I live!
I just read the follow-up here – It's brilliant! David is my new favorite author, that's for sure.
"So I'm told God isn't a Buddhist" –
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/01/so-im-told…
Thanks for the comments – to clarify my thoughts, I have written a follow-up:
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/01/so-im-told…
Much enjoyed insights. Buddhism is constantly changing, despite what the so-called traditionalists would like. Surely a religion should be organic, change with the times, whilst keeping its traditional roots? Isn't that what the Buddha taught = that life is change….
[...] The Meaning of True Love (from a Buddhist’s Perspective). (elephantjournal.com) [...]
Loved it!
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