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February 6, 2017

To the Women who don’t Feel like They’re Enough.

“I am enough. I am full of sparkle and of compassion. I genuinely want to make the world a better place. I love hard. I practice kindness. I am not afraid of the truth. I am loyal, adventurous, supportive, and surprising. I am enough. I make mistakes, but I own them and I learn from them. And sometimes I make a lot of mistakes. But I am enough.” ~ Unknown

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You are enough, and you are worth it.

Maybe I’m not the next Steve Jobs. Maybe I barely passed Organic Chemistry, and maybe I ran out of gas last week.

Maybe I’m not intelligent in every single way. Hell, maybe I’m not even what they would call “book smart,” but I do have my talents—and I am pretty damn brilliant at those things.

Maybe I’m not Steve Jobs, but Steve Jobs wasn’t me. Could he cook? Write? Feel all the feelings of others around him? Articulate his deepest and darkest feelings into a poem?

Maybe I’m not smart in that way, but maybe I don’t want to be.

Maybe I am perfectly content and proud to be smart in the way that I am.

Maybe I am proud to be a creative instead of a mathematician; to be a dreamer instead of a realist.

I am smart enough.

I may not be capable of writing a full stand-up comedy routine that would be greeted with any sort of laughter, and maybe my jokes rely a little too heavily on four-letter words.

Just maybe, my sense of humor walks a close parallel to that of a middle school boy. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love to laugh, and that I don’t love to make others laugh. It doesn’t mean I don’t look for humor in some rather sh*tty situations. Maybe my humor isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But don’t be mistaken because I am funny enough.

I may be the complete aesthetic opposite of the Barbie dolls I played with as a little girl.

I’m not tall, thin or blonde. I have freckled skin and stretch-marked thighs. My eyes and hair are dark and usually in search of mischief.

Maybe I am not beautiful like those dolls, but I am beautiful in a different way. I am pretty enough.

Maybe I need help reaching the cups on the top shelf of my cabinets, but dammit, I am strong and I am independent. I have supported myself. I have picked myself up from absolute rubble and rebuilt myself—time and time again. I have fought more inner demons than I care to admit. I force a smile and try to show kindness when everything else seems to be falling apart. Maybe I can’t bench press my own weight but I can certainly carry my own weight—and I carry it with grace and laughter.

I am smart, funny and beautiful. But mostly I am me, and I am strong as hell. 

I am worth settling down for.

I am enough.

I have allowed everyone for the entirety of my life to dictate my worth. The men I have been with have always found things to nitpick about me. They fixated on ways I could be better, do better and look better. And I have listened—ready to learn, ready to be better. I have heard them out as they nitpick my intelligence, my sense of humor, my beauty and most of all, my dreams.

But I am so much more than what they said.

I am so much more than what they allowed themselves to see. I am more than they could see. And I’m probably more than they could handle. I am so much more than what I have been conditioned to believe. I am enough.

You are enough. You are a thousand times enough.

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“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~ Maya Angelou

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Author: Emily Cutshaw

Image: Sandy Manase/DeviantArt

Editor: Caitlin Oriel

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Emily Cutshaw

Emily Cutshaw is a young 20s, self proclaimed free thinker. In her free time, she enjoys writing short stories and poetry, hiking, and following her most recent desire of the day in question. She is currently pursuing a degree in Creative Writing and hopes to join the Peace Corps upon completing college. Connect with Emily on Facebook and Instagram.