Are you a courtesan, a geisha, or a muse?
Are you also a coach, a healer, or a teacher?
This article is about weaving these two archetypes together in one body, in one lifetime.
My world suddenly made more sense when I acknowledged this weaving of identities in myself. My life flashed before my eyes, and I knew why I had always wanted men to succeed.
I had wanted my father to succeed in his work, my brothers to succeed in their families, and my lovers to succeed in bed with me. I want men to do their best: in the home, in bed and in the world.
I want this because when men do good things in the world and good things with their women, the world is a better place. And as I looked through my life, I saw that I have long woven sensuality and spirituality together.
Traditionally, courtesans were high-class muses and poetesses who slept with royalty for their inspiration and pleasure. There is a new model of this archetype today. One that doesn’t need to “service men,” and yet gets to be the healer, yogini, muse, artist, poet, scholar, enlightened being, coach, teacher, and leader. She utilizes her beauty, radiance, and inner power in bold ways to transform men (and women) into powerful warriors for the good.
Yes, the modern courtesans are the coaches, healers, and leaders. They are also the muses of the world, yearning to make a positive impact globally, and to love, love, love through all sorts of tempests and upheavals. To be in our full power as women in this lifetime, it is important to merge these two: the healer and the sensualist, the coach and the courtesan, the teacher and the muse.
There is a trend right now to see ourselves as “queens.” I believe it is, perhaps, because we are not being held in the same light that we were in the past, as courtesans, muses, witches, and sorceresses.
The past queen was powerful, but the king and knights went to their muses for counsel, pleasure, art, and the expression of who they were as men. They sought advice about wars and conflicts, and also received what they knew they could only get from these powerful and sensual women: incredible sexual fulfillment.
We women all long for sensuality and a “wildness” with our bodies and sexual encounters. Regardless of pain, trauma or shame, in the area of sexuality or sensuality, we yearn for this quality of freedom.
I believe that I am a courtesan from a past life. In this life, it’s manifested as a yoga/dance/transformation teacher who travels globally teaching, leading and healing (myself and others).
I have been “touched” and I have “touched”…hu-MAN-ity.
Here is how the sequence of events goes in such a relationship:
1. The Confident Eye Gaze: The attraction is high when a woman is in her grounded, centered power, and yet not too harsh that it turns into a glare. Let him know he is the “one” (in the moment). This is important because thoughts become things and you are achieving the enfleshing of the relationship in this case.
2. Interdependent Muse: You rely on nothing but your own “a-muse-ment,” which means you hold your self-care high, and don’t rely on anyone to give you what you need—which means to be open, not needy! This is important because you send yourself a message of strength—your inner strength.
3. Landing Him: Once a man shows his interest, be mysterious. We don’t need to “act,” just don’t give it all away. Save your secret desires and build your sensuality within yourself—for and with this person. This is a continuous play, so even if you have been in a relationship for years, this is key. This is important because men love the endless mystery in women and will eagerly move forward when they sense mystery. And you know that you are endless as a woman; you know how deep your abyss goes.
4. Praise makes the King: Take him by the ear with your voice and praise what you like about him, say what makes you happy, and listen to what he wants. He usually wants to serve you. This is important because men will go to the ends of the Earth when praised. When a man has opened himself fully and shared his innermost self, his deepest need in that open place is simply appreciation. Appreciate his gifts and his contribution and watch him glow, and thrive, and push, and win!
5. Breathe into the Muse: She wants to please, tease, and play. Every moment is absolutely precious and new. Be willing to be seen, witnessed, and adored. This is important because you have an endless spirit and the breath will animate, actuate, and bring forth this spirit. You are allowed to be this archetype and you are allowed to fill this archetype with the breath of life.
6. Now it’s Time to Rock: What can you give him that you feel would really serve him? Women are always trying to change men…it doesn’t work! What if you received his adoration, and you gave back in a way that he would remember? The courtesan-healer’s journey is to dance sensually, erotically, and to inspire. This is important because you have energy, and vitality, and life-force that will feed you and him. And this giving will open the possibilities as never before. When you “go for it” in bed, or in hospitality, or in being yourself, he will go there with you. And that’s the vibrancy he loves about you today.
7. Be Present, Heal, and Receive: When this man is giving you his attention, even if he is talking a lot, breathe his divine masculine in and he will be filled, and so will you. This will allow your radiance to glow and for him to bask in that. This is important because your attention and presence will pull out his strongest force, his most intelligent solutions, his loyalty.
8. Wild and Free: When you are moving into a sexual relationship with him, this is where to let it all free. Leave your scars, wounds, and traumas at the door and take him home—this is where you use all the previous steps and bring them into a full-fledged sensual party. This is important because healing comes from freedom, for both of you. He needs you to show him that freedom can be fun, mysterious, and can lift both of you up.
You are allowed to stand in your most wild, sensual, powerful self and offer your support and “service” to others. You are an endless being with everything you need within you to be the healer and the sensualist, the coach and the courtesan, the teacher and the muse. One can be a fully self-expressed as a healer, coach, leader and a pleasure-filled leader.
Author: Hemalayaa Behl
Image: Flickr/ NC Mallory
Editor: Travis May