May 13, 2017

6 Ways to Unf*ck Yourself when Everything’s going Wrong. {Adult}

Warning: Adult language ahead. Proceed at your own discretion ; ) ~ ed.

I lie in bed tossing and turning. The birds chirp outside but darkness reveals that it’s too early for my alarm to go off.

It’s 4:30a.m. I still have time, but returning to sleep escapes me.

These experiences seem to be woven into the fabric of my being. I know this time of year, spring, is always uncertain for me. So many changes—the death of my mom, a break-up, changing jobs, a cancer diagnosis, separation from close friends—all this happened during this season over these past few years.

It’s hard not to close down to protect myself when the transition out of winter arrives. This is not just when life challenges happen, it’s when I do not handle them well either. Too little writing, too much alcohol. Too little reflection, too much socializing. Too little yoga, too much running (avoiding what is eating away at me).

I go back and forth between telling myself it is all okay, and wondering when I will finally make peace with the fluctuations of life. Change happens. We evolve and others don’t evolve with us. We realize we have merely grown in different directions. Trusting ourselves means recognizing and accepting this truth and moving forward.

Typically, I take this uncertainty out for a run. Tired of overthinking, a favorite social media quote pops into my head: “Just unfuck yourself.” Life happens. Unfuck yourself and move forward.

Here are six ways to unfuck yourself when everything’s going wrong:

1. Trust the process:
When we lose something, the universe determines whether it comes back and in which form. Maybe it comes back better, maybe it comes back so you can reevaluate and ask whether it was wanted in the first place. You get to decide. Just trust the process and unfuck yourself.

2. Make amends when necessary:
We are all human. We all mess up. Apologize when you need to apologize. Do not live with the regret and guilt that can build up. Just say the sorry you owe to the people you hurt and unfuck yourself.

3. Know that sh*tty things and people happen:
Again, we are all human. We are all doing the best we can do with this life we have been given. Sometimes, others mess up too, depending on where they are in life. Forgive if you can. Adopt a rule, perhaps the “three strikes they’re out” rule. Believe in the goodness of people and unfuck yourself.

4. Remember it’s not always cancer:
Not everything is the end of our world, even when it feels like it in the moment. Sometimes it is, but most often it isn’t. Appreciate when you feel good. Make the most of your health and your days. Take care of yourself. Stop dwelling and unfuck yourself.

5. Find a goal and some tools:
We’re guaranteed to unfuck ourselves when we’ve got our eyes on a prize we are working toward. Get clear on your goal and find the tools that will get you there. Travel the world, write the book, run the marathon. Just do it and unfuck yourself.

6. Recognize when you’ve moved beyond it:
The time will arise when we eventually grow tired of our old stories. They will no longer serve us and we are ready to create room for new stories. Accept them, let go, and finally realize you’ve finally unfucked yourself.


Author: Regina Hastings
Image: Naomi August / Unsplash
Editor: Danielle Beutell

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