Yes, I have lost my mind.
At least those parts of my mind that kept me from being free. That’s how I now find the courage to do what I always wanted to do: be me, live life to the fullest, and share my truth with the world.
I’m losing my prison, and I am finding my freedom.
Some of you probably think I am mad. And maybe you are even right. If this is the case, I plead for more mad people in this world.
Which world is crazy? The one where we are free to follow our heart, our joy, our bliss, the calling of our soul, or a way of living that puts us into a position where we distrust ourselves, our heart, and our emotions?
I have never forgotten who I was—I have just not dared to show it fully.
Now nothing holds me back anymore. I am embodying the change I’d like to see in this world.
I show my tears when I am sad, express my fear to others, and try to make peace with all of the emotions that are part of the human existence.
I consciously use plant medicine and entheogens to explore my subconscious mind. I have seen my belief system fall apart on LSD; I vomited the whole night on Ayahuasca to clear out negative energies and embraced my fears with love on MDMA.
I dance in circles around the fire in the moonlight. I work with energies and assist others in their exploration of their subconscious. I communicate with animals and plants, talk about chakras, and love crystals.
Now it’s all in the open. No more lies. No more pretending to be someone I am not. I want to strip myself bare, shout out from the rooftop that this is me and that my human experience does not need to follow certain ideas approved by a seemingly toxic society. I want my life to be a roller coaster ride of mystical experiences, an explosion of misfit concepts, and a liberation of dogma.
Yes, I have lost the prison of my mind. And I hope I will never find it again.
Author: Alice Dea
Image: Author’s Own
Editor: Travis May