July 27, 2017

F*ck Letting it Go—instead, Just Let It Be.

Inaction is an action itself.

It seems we are often told we have to do something about a given issue—and we have to do it now.

We are forced to choose between letting go and holding on. Yet, letting go of something is not necessarily a spiritual, enlightened, or Buddhist act in principle.

Instead, we should let it be.

In a world where we are all moving so fast, it seems we’re expected to let go of something just as rapidly, and letting go is sometimes translated as giving up or walking away. Letting go is wonderful, but it also means that we gave something up—that at one point, whatever we held onto is now gone.

Nothing—not even those really difficult loves—can be lost, if it’s truly meant for us.

Letting go is a way to create waves; it can manifest an ending where only ambiguity only previously lingered, and in many ways, it can front as a positive step in the first direction.

But, I ask this—what if what you are letting go of is actually something you’re meant to experience?

Life is uncomfortable, especially if we are doing it the right way, but that also means that we’re not going to want to willingly feel every moment that comes our way.

So much of our journey isn’t planning what will happen, but dealing with all of the random occurrences that come our way that we never anticipated—and if we simply just let go of all that which is uncomfortable, then there would also never be any growth.

It seems that letting go is currently all the rage.

We are supposed to just let go of situations that challenge or even hurt us—because, god forbid, we are in a difficult situation that we can’t gain control of. So, instead, we are told to exercise our control in the form of letting go, and we cut ourselves away from whatever was instigating those feelings that triggered or hurt us.

Yet, letting go is only a false sense of control; it’s an illusion, because while we can choose to remove ourselves from situations and relationships, the reality is that it’s a lesson that just might keep coming back until we have learned all we are supposed to.

It’s really sh*tty sometimes to just sit and let an uncomfortable situation run its course. No one wants open endings, loose strings, confusion, or disappointment. But, the reality of this crazy, amazing, beautiful life is that it’s the dark moments that make us truly appreciate the ones bathed in light.

We can’t rush through the lessons and expect to ace the final.

As tempting as it is to just let go, the truth is that we just need to let it be. But this isn’t always easy; it means we can’t force endings, we can’t make choices for others, and we can’t teach our heart something that it still needs to learn.

It means that we simply do nothing—we pause within our story.

This is an act of letting things play out, however they are meant to. Life will always move in one direction or another; it will evolve to manifest our deepest desires—or, over the course of time, it will become apparent that another path is meant for us. But, regardless of which outcome occurs, often we don’t really need to do anything in order to make it happen.

By letting it be, we are still moving forward in our lives. We are still attracting abundance and meeting the surprises that each new sunrise may bring, but we aren’t forcing ourselves to adopt a particular plan or outcome for ourselves or our lives.

In many (okay, many, many) instances, when talking with women about relationships that have left them confused or dumbfounded, their biggest complaint is that others have told them to just let it go. But, it doesn’t matter how many times we are told (or try) to just let something go—because even if we do, if it’s something we’re meant to experience, then it will come right back until we’ve learned what we need to.

The reality is we aren’t always meant to just let it go.

Life matters, love matters, family matters—and we can’t just close our eyes and meditatively let it go while we struggle to grasp for the meaning of something that isn’t yet ready to be understood.

To let something be requires much more strength than just letting go, because we’re learning to sit with the ambiguity that life often creates from those moments that we could never have conceived of.

It’s difficult in our fast-paced world—where everything is instantaneous, and gratification is only a click away—to simply appreciate and understand the value of just letting it be.

It’s a choice to let a situation remain unresolved, let the loose ends dangle, and allow the options to remain. Letting it be means giving up deadlines, timelines, and ultimatums—because life doesn’t figure itself out when we want it to, but rather when it’s meant to.

And until that moment happens, we can laugh, smile, grow, and experience life, all the while knowing that we didn’t let go of something that wasn’t meant to be let go of. We simply made the choice to sit with the situation as is, without trying to control the outcome.

Time may not heal all wounds, but it does have a way of clearing even the murkiest of waters—if we just let it be.



Don’t Let it Go, Just Let it Be.

What we must do before Letting Go, according to Buddha.


Author: Kate Rose
Image: Instagram @elephantjournal
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Copy Editor: Callie Rushton
Social editor: Travis May

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