F*ck Letting it Go—instead, Just Let It Be.

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Inaction is an action itself.

It seems we are often told we have to do something about a given issue—and we have to do it now.

We are forced to choose between letting go and holding on. Yet, letting go of something is not necessarily a spiritual, enlightened, or Buddhist act in principle.

Instead, we should let it be.

In a world where we are all moving so fast, it seems we’re expected to let go of something just as rapidly, and letting go is sometimes translated as giving up or walking away. Letting go is wonderful, but it also means that we gave something up—that at one point, whatever we held onto is now gone.

Nothing—not even those really difficult loves—can be lost, if it’s truly meant for us.

Letting go is a way to create waves; it can manifest an ending where only ambiguity only previously lingered, and in many ways, it can front as a positive step in the first direction.

But, I ask this—what if what you are letting go of is actually something you’re meant to experience?

Life is uncomfortable, especially if we are doing it the right way, but that also means that we’re not going to want to willingly feel every moment that comes our way.

So much of our journey isn’t planning what will happen, but dealing with all of the random occurrences that come our way that we never anticipated—and if we simply just let go of all that which is uncomfortable, then there would also never be any growth.

It seems that letting go is currently all the rage.

We are supposed to just let go of situations that challenge or even hurt us—because, god forbid, we are in a difficult situation that we can’t gain control of. So, instead, we are told to exercise our control in the form of letting go, and we cut ourselves away from whatever was instigating those feelings that triggered or hurt us.

Yet, letting go is only a false sense of control; it’s an illusion, because while we can choose to remove ourselves from situations and relationships, the reality is that it’s a lesson that just might keep coming back until we have learned all we are supposed to.

It’s really sh*tty sometimes to just sit and let an uncomfortable situation run its course. No one wants open endings, loose strings, confusion, or disappointment. But, the reality of this crazy, amazing, beautiful life is that it’s the dark moments that make us truly appreciate the ones bathed in light.

We can’t rush through the lessons and expect to ace the final.

As tempting as it is to just let go, the truth is that we just need to let it be. But this isn’t always easy; it means we can’t force endings, we can’t make choices for others, and we can’t teach our heart something that it still needs to learn.

It means that we simply do nothing—we pause within our story.

This is an act of letting things play out, however they are meant to. Life will always move in one direction or another; it will evolve to manifest our deepest desires—or, over the course of time, it will become apparent that another path is meant for us. But, regardless of which outcome occurs, often we don’t really need to do anything in order to make it happen.

By letting it be, we are still moving forward in our lives. We are still attracting abundance and meeting the surprises that each new sunrise may bring, but we aren’t forcing ourselves to adopt a particular plan or outcome for ourselves or our lives.

In many (okay, many, many) instances, when talking with women about relationships that have left them confused or dumbfounded, their biggest complaint is that others have told them to just let it go. But, it doesn’t matter how many times we are told (or try) to just let something go—because even if we do, if it’s something we’re meant to experience, then it will come right back until we’ve learned what we need to.

The reality is we aren’t always meant to just let it go.

Life matters, love matters, family matters—and we can’t just close our eyes and meditatively let it go while we struggle to grasp for the meaning of something that isn’t yet ready to be understood.

To let something be requires much more strength than just letting go, because we’re learning to sit with the ambiguity that life often creates from those moments that we could never have conceived of.

It’s difficult in our fast-paced world—where everything is instantaneous, and gratification is only a click away—to simply appreciate and understand the value of just letting it be.

It’s a choice to let a situation remain unresolved, let the loose ends dangle, and allow the options to remain. Letting it be means giving up deadlines, timelines, and ultimatums—because life doesn’t figure itself out when we want it to, but rather when it’s meant to.

And until that moment happens, we can laugh, smile, grow, and experience life, all the while knowing that we didn’t let go of something that wasn’t meant to be let go of. We simply made the choice to sit with the situation as is, without trying to control the outcome.

Time may not heal all wounds, but it does have a way of clearing even the murkiest of waters—if we just let it be.

~

Relephant:

Don’t Let it Go, Just Let it Be.

What we must do before Letting Go, according to Buddha.

~

Author: Kate Rose
Image: Instagram @elephantjournal
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Copy Editor: Callie Rushton
Social editor: Travis May

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Kate Rose

Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, mother, rule breaker, and rebel. She can usually be found walking barefoot in the moonlight between worlds with the dreams of stars still hanging in her hair, swaying her hips to the music of life and smelling of sweet bourbon and honeysuckle. She lives for adventure and wakes each morning with the excitement of a new day waiting to unfold at her feet. She truly believes the best is yet to come and waits, with bated breath, to see what it may hold. Follow her on TwitterFacebook or Instagram, and find more of her words on her website

Michael Burgwin Oct 1, 2018 2:07pm

The implication of free will in this post ... as if we have a free choice in deciding when to let go or not.... no resonance.

Graham Smith Sep 30, 2018 8:50am

Interesting perspective. Resonates well.

Harriet Mary Shea Sep 8, 2018 9:20am

I love Kate Rose..She is my sister of the Universe..She controls her emotions through the lanscapes of harmony..

Anissa Gamble Sep 2, 2018 4:00pm

Thank you

Kate Sundara Jul 4, 2018 7:17am

So good! Thanks Kate 💖

Zimka Olga Lebedeva Jun 30, 2018 10:10pm

I haven't even finished reading the article and I already know it is golden. Thank you so much! ...I am in the stage of re-learning how to let the painful situation to just be... that innate desire to "clear the air", to fix things, because I know it is created by misunderstanding... but I surely showed enough goodwill and it is up to another person to deal with the demons and decide the level of courage there's... ...every day my mind goes to how I could explain something, but the reality is... I shall just let it be... annd somehow it already hurts less. ...so grateful for this timely reminder <3

Rachel Wronowski Jun 30, 2018 7:34pm

Love this article. I agree completely. This needs to be discussed more often.

Nina Lloyd Sandusky Jun 27, 2018 4:25pm

Omg!!!! Exactly what I needed this very minute! ❤️

Shannon Mullen Aug 4, 2017 9:38pm

I really like this article and perspective. I also sometimes feel a pressure in this fast paced life to let go of things--when letting go doesn't feel like an authentic solution. When I try too hard to let things go, it feels like I'm manipulating the outcome. I like the perspective of how letting things be allows us to be open to letting life unfold as it is meant to. Thank you for this article!

Richard Josephson Aug 1, 2017 10:11am

"I don't know about doing things, I just know about leaving things alone," Chaung Tze.

Breann Brannon Jul 31, 2017 4:29am

Thank you �

Petra Vorlova Jul 30, 2017 7:20am

Wow. Deep connection with what is actually flowing around us....feel always very confortable, the strong sincronicity with you and the universal energies. I appreciate you very much Dear Kate

Sara Marie Wall Jul 30, 2017 4:11am

wow! thanks - this really hit my heart today!

Arris Moon Jul 29, 2017 2:58am

Bravo! Such a needed message, so well written. Beautiful. Moving. Gratitude! �

Michelle Brewer Griffith Jul 29, 2017 1:03am

Wow. Thank you so much for writing this.

Daniel McCullar Jul 28, 2017 9:45pm

EXACTLY!!! Finally some common sense! If you can let go, then to me that tells me you never truly wanted it to begin with. If you can let go of love and you were never truly in love to begin with. But, instead we just let what will be, be. This does not mean you have given up or walked away. No, this means you have stopped fighting, trying and pursuing. Instead, you are resigning to let destiny be. And the truth is, if it's something the universe intends for you no matter what. Then you'll never be able to let go. Letting go is just another form of false control It just means you don't have to continue to put yourself in negative situations that you don't have to be in. Even if you do have to experience whatever is you're going through. To the author, Kate Rose. Finally, and thank you for some insight for common sense. Somebody actually gets it.

Melina Powers Jul 28, 2017 7:30pm

<3

Andy Bowker Jul 28, 2017 8:27am

Very relevant to me right now. Thank you Kate <3 :)