Beloved,
I love you
completely,
entirely,
with every cell in my body.
With every atom that makes up every cell,
with the nucleus and nucleotides that make up those atoms,
with the strange quarks, and I forget what comes after that in my body.
I love you with my soul,
that instrument of the Divine
which,
on its own,
is but a note in the song of the universe,
yet which plays a melody so sweet,
so ethereal,
so in harmony with yours,
that my body,
this vessel,
this prison,
howls with the venom of monsters only witnessed in movies,
for release and blessed union with you—
my Beloved—
to endlessly play
an ever evolving song.
I long to taste you in my mouth
and when I do,
your taste lingers like a chemical burn,
like frost bite,
like that f*cking numbing you get when you push too hard,
when you extend yourself so far,
so much,
that the energy that normally flows
with ebbs and tides
like an infinite ocean within our being—
for certainly we are now
and always will be
a single entity with distinctly separate bodies—
evaporates and leaves us both
so nearly breathlessly spent,
and soft,
and willing,
and hard,
and passionate,
and wanting for more.
Oh, please, more!
I want to lay you in the grass by the pond
and gaze in quiet contemplation
until my soul is satisfied
and my body aches.
I want to admire your beauty
in the same way that I adore the songs
of hundreds of birds—
the swallow and loon,
crow and robin,
the hawk,
that ever-present watcher of my soul,
and the black bird that is its sworn enemy—
and I want to add our song to theirs.
I want to write great love songs and poems
that proclaim your poise,
your strength,
your beauty,
even when you are ninety,
because when you are ninety,
you will be even more beautiful
for having spent your life
loving and being loved
until there are so many
that I could spend all day,
every day,
for a year,
reading the poems,
and playing the songs,
and still not get through them all.
I would carry you across a burning desert
to protect your delicate feet,
I would call down a wind
and command a rain
to keep you cool,
and I would build a home
from the sand
and mud
to keep you out of the sun,
and we would live there forever,
because it doesn’t matter where we live
as long as we are together.
I want to make your life better than you ever imagined,
and in doing so
make my own life better,
and thus create
an infinitely building loop of better-ness
for us both.
And I want it to overflow from us
and spill into the world
so that it becomes better.
I want us to be the example
that people point to and say,
“I want us to be like them.”
I want us to grow old together
and hold your hand as you pass,
because I promise
I won’t ever leave you alone,
and after you have taken your last breath
I will join you,
there,
in infinite grace for eternity.
I am yours,
Always.
~~~
Author: J.M. Greff
Image: Everton Vila/Unsplash
Editor: Taia Butler
Copy Editor: Nicole Cameron
Social Editor: Callie Rushton
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