Contrary to popular belief, one does not need a partner to practice tantra.
In fact, the best way to begin to learn tantra is alone.
The following are five suggestions for how you can begin to heighten your awareness of your inner world, and cultivate your sexual energy with tantric practices. From there, you will, in turn, become more comfortable and confident in connecting with your beloved, and—by extension—the world.
1. Connect with your core.
Rub your palms together, place one hand over your heart, and one hand over your genitals. Feel the heat from your palms radiating over your two power centres, and breathe deeply.
Visualise a circuitry between these two places—breathe and feel, breathe and feel, breathe and feel.
Over time, you can feel the electric charge between these two places more easily, and more intensely. This is the centre of your being, and a big part of where your sexual energies lie.
2. Squeeze your pelvic floor muscles.
Squeeze the muscles “down there” as if you need to pee. Then, relax those muscles, and repeat. This is one pelvic floor squeeze, also known as Kegel exercises.
Squeeze to feel (internally) rather than squeeze tightly as if to show off (externally)—it is not about how hard you squeeze, but how you feel when you squeeze and release these muscles.
Through repetition (a suggested 30 times a day), these muscles become stronger, and you can easily and quickly activate your sexual energy with these squeezes.
3. Tilt and tuck.
We might be exposed to images of pornography performers thrusting during sexual intercourse by doing exaggerated back-and-forth hip movements. But, what looks good on camera does not necessarily feel good.
Instead, what feels more pleasurable is if you bend your knees, isolate your pelvic bowl (imagine it as a salad bowl), and rock it back and forth (not side to side). This movement is akin to how belly dancers move, and through practice, one can easily perform tilt and tuck motions quicker than big thrusting movements.
Tilting and tucking is another movement that activates the sexual energy at the base of your spin.
4. Abdominal breathing.
Even though a person can only survive three minutes without breathing, and breathing is an automatic act, few of us know how to use our breath to manage the way we feel in our bodies.
Place your hand on your stomach and breathe in and out from that place. You might notice that you are taking bigger breaths and feeling more connected to your body. Our breath takes us back to our bodies, and our ability to connect with our bodies is so important.
With practice, you can be transported from being in headspace to being in your body in as little as one breath.
5. Make a sound.
Most of us masturbate quietly, quickly, and secretly. We don’t make sounds for fear of being heard, being caught, and being shamed.
Try making a sound the next time you masturbate and notice how you feel. Sound can amplify the way we feel, and magnify sensations and pleasure.
Practice making sounds by yourself, and over time, you will realise the importance of incorporating sounds in future lovemaking sessions or tantric practices.
What do you think of these five tantric practices?
With some practice, what might feel weird and awkward will become more natural. As your awareness of your sexual energies increases, so will your capacity to have more pleasure in your life.
Author: Martha Tara Lee
Editor: Leah Sugerman
Copy Editor: Catherine Monkman
Social Editor: Nicole Cameron