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August 9, 2017

If I Disappeared, Would You Even Notice? {Poem}

If a time came when silence covered your skin, like my lips used to, would you even notice?

Perhaps I will slip between the aubergine shades of morning and venture into a land where I become nothing more than stardust upon the lips of hope.

I will cease to be and, instead, will taste of a dream.

A moment you will no longer be able to recall as real, it will become a mere figment of imagination. Desperate to know that we came here for more than just this.

I was real, and so were you. But our fears, or maybe just our doubts, roared louder than our love.

I never wanted to be easy to dismiss, but there’s no proof of the contrary. So I’ve accepted my role in the story I never meant to write.

If you’d like to forget about me, then do so.

If you’d like to un-love me, then begin today.

I’m done fighting for someone who never was willing to pick up a sword for me.

Within all this time, I’ve been growing. Perhaps I’m only beginning to bloom. But I know I can’t be the only one fighting for the love we never expected to fall into.

Maybe it tasted more of warm honey than the bitterness of surprise, but it still was never enough to stay.

The nights swirl around with your words with the tempestuous desire of wanting it all, yet I’m wondering now if I was the one who dreamt this whole thing up.

You were too good to be true, we were much too good to be true, so perhaps I did.

It might just have been a mirage in this ordinary lifelessness.

But it hurts all the same.

And still, I ask, if I was to disappear—would you even notice?

Would you let yourself look for me?

Or would I remain just a dream?

A moment of inconceivable love, already fading within a painted reality we taught ourselves to expect…and accept.

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Author: Kate Rose
Image: Katia Romanova/Flickr
Editor: Danielle Beutell
Copy Editor: Catherine Monkman
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