Many people around me are fascinated with Tantra, and more specifically with how to use Tantra to connect their sexuality with their spirituality.
I asked two of my colleagues to share their thoughts about the link between sex and spirituality as well as their favourite Tantric practices, so you can begin to do them at home.
Linking Sex and Spirit
For Amy Kebernik, Somatic Sexual Educator, Tantra Teacher, and Intimacy Coach at Pure Tantra, “Sex and spirit are intertwined, in that when there is a spiritual connection, sexual intimacy is much more pleasurable and fulfilling. I believe sexuality is an important aspect of feeling, expressing, and living a spiritually whole existence. There is no separation.”
Sarah Martin, a Certified Sex Coach and Executive Director of the World Association of Sex Coaches, feels similarly, “As a sex coach, I see sex and spirit as intrinsically linked. The spirit is the essence of self—the ‘I’ in the sentence ‘I am.’ The more we can invite spirit to show up in our sexuality, the more pleasure and connectedness we can feel, both with ourselves and with others.”
As for myself, a Sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and certified sexuality educator, I came to understand how sex and spirit are connected once I recognised our sexual energy as our life force energy—and that this energy cannot be separated from what makes us who we are.
We cannot help but want to express ourselves, and our sexuality is part of how our spirit expresses itself.
Our Favourite Tantric Practices
“My favorite Tantric practice would have to be the simple act of breathing together—inhaling and exhaling at the same time. It is a lovely practice to do with partners and friends. I often use this with clients and in working with people who are dealing with trauma. Every life form on this planet requires oxygen to live…the act of breathing deeply together brings an energetic resonance and attunement to our bodies, and helps to connect our hearts,” Amy shares.
She adds, “Sexuality is much more than the intimate physical connection we share with our partners or lovers. The magic is in your connection with your body, your eroticism, and your own pleasure. Whenever we hold our breath, we create tension in our bodies. Relaxing into our pleasure requires mindfulness, body awareness, and conscious breathing.”
According to Amy, one can be engaged in conscious breath alone, even without a partner, and still be practicing Tantra! In fact, it is easier to practice by yourself first. Try inhaling for a count of five, holding for a count of six, and exhaling for a count of eight. Do this 10 times and see if you notice a difference in how your body feels.
By using breath to connect with your body, you will also connect with your heart, and your own pleasure.
2) Exchange Strength
Sarah has a favourite too: “My favourite tantric practice is to exchange strength. The objective of the exercise is to experience each other’s strength without anyone being the winner or loser. Face your partner, gaze into each other’s eyes, and take three deep breaths together. Maintain eye contact. Place your hands together at chest height, shoulder width apart, with the palms of your hands flat against each other. Focus your intention into your hands and become aware of feeling your partner—can you feel their pulse in their hands?
Gradually press against their hands with yours, with your partner doing the same. One of you likely has more strength—and that’s okay! The partner with more strength should adjust the amount of pressure to find a comfortable tension. Feel the sensation and aliveness in your arms, your shoulders, and your chest. Pay attention to this feeling and notice how strong you are and how strong your partner is. You are both strong, alive beings.”
3) Heart-Genital Connection
As for myself, my favourite tantric practice involves rubbing my palms together, then placing one palm over my heart, and the other over my genitals. From there, I visualize the heat from my palms sending healing to these two powerful centers of my body (heart and sex).
Besides healing, I visualize the two centers connecting and harmonizing. When I am in harmony within myself, I am in harmony with the universe. This is also a practice one can do with their partner by connecting their palms with their partner’s heart-genitals, and then swapping. This is a grounding practice, and of course, intention is everything.
I hope you liked these three practices. Let us know what you of think of them.
Author: Martha Lee
Image: Hanna Alicé/Flickr
Editor: Emily Bartran
Copy Editor: Nicole Cameron
Social Editor: Nicole Cameron