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September 21, 2017

5 Ways to Gracefully Deal with Difficult People.

Life sucks—at least, sometimes it does.

A work meeting is scheduled, and I’m expected to attend, but no one tells me about it. Friends are expected for dinner and then cancel after I have everything cooked. My spouse and I have a disagreement that started out over the laundry and spirals to include every area of our life. My teenage daughter decides she “hates” me, but won’t explain why.

I know I’m not alone in these experiences. Each of us has moments when we feel like, no matter what we do, everything is just hard. For each of us, there will be specific people or even whole phases in life that make us feel hurt, irritated, or just plain miserable. Bringing awareness to these interactions allows us to expand and tolerate the idiosyncrasies of those around us with compassion and understanding.

Here are five things to help to see the lighter side of a sucky situation:

1. Remember that these are teaching moments.

It may sound trite, but it truly helps to stop and think about what we might be learning with this interaction. Maybe we are remembering to practice calming breathing techniques, or maybe we just get to learn from someone else’s mistakes. Whatever the situation, there is always something we can learn from our interactions with others. Always.

2. Ask: “Is this theirs or mine?”

Take it from a former people-pleaser/problem-solver who has gone out of her way a few too many times to “fix” other people’s problems: taking on someone else’s baggage doesn’t help them or ourselves. We each have plenty of our own problems. Instead of trying to be Superwoman for someone else, let them make their own mistakes. Practice not taking on their gunk on as our own.

3. Limit interactions with people who create drama.

If someone keeps trying to get us embroiled in their drama, it’s okay to say we’re not interested. Once we become adults, we each get to choose who we surround ourselves with.

4. Change our perception of our interactions.

Instead of jumping straight to being offended or hurt, thinking that someone acted intentionally to hurt us, we can try to understand what might have caused them to act in a way that caused us pain. Pretend to be them, knowing their reasons for acting in this way weren’t malicious.

5. Find the benefit in this challenge.

As an intuitive advisor, I take time to connect with my guides to understand what I’m supposed to learn from the situation, clear any past energy that is ready to be released, and understand the connection I have to this person. I also ask to be shown the lighter aspects of this person during our interactions. After doing all of this, if I still feel more work is needed to be done at this level, I call in the other person’s guides, asking for their assistance so we both have a positive interaction.

Even if we don’t know how to do these things, we can still find the benefit of interacting with another person (no matter how negative someone may seem) by sitting quietly and focusing on what we may be getting out of our interactions with them.

Consider journaling about this issue and think about who this person reminds you of from your past. Taking the time to see the patterns in our relationships helps us choose whether we want those patterns to continue.

Each of us is doing the best we can with the energy and resources available in our lives. We all struggle and suffer as part of life, and sometimes, we act like jerks to one another.

Hopefully, with these tools, we can bring more light in our lives and see how a person who is driving us crazy can actually make us reach our highest potential.

~

Author: Nicole Marchant
Image: Cloud Visual/Unsplash
Editor: Danielle Beutell
Copy editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Social Editor: Callie Rushton

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Nicole Marchant