September 19, 2017

7 Ways to Nurture our Femininity.

For a long time, I did not know what femininity meant, much less how to nurture this energy within me.

In my mind, femininity was all about being “girly”—also known as soft and weak. Since I never considered myself a girly girl, I didn’t think femininity was for me.

I was wrong.

Femininity had everything to do with the other side of me—the side of me that wants to be seen, heard, and considered attractive.

When I knew what femininity really meant, I recognised that I could continue to ignore this side of me or I could learn how to cultivate and nurture my femininity.

These are the seven ways I consciously nurture my femininity, and these practices have transformed my life. You can do them too!

1. Paint my nails. I’ve always opted for comfort over looks. I’m the kind of woman who chooses flats so I can run for the bus, because I always find myself tripping over my own legs when I wear heels. Getting my nails done was the number one thing I came up with to hone my femininity. Somehow, having nice nails and looking down at them discreetly during client sessions or when on public transport made me feel girly. I honour this practice and continue to do my nails. (I’ve moved from gel nails to sticker nails because they are more eco-friendly and safer for the body.)

2. Hang with the girls. There are women who complain of other women being bitchy, whiny, and not intellectually stimulating. I choose to believe that I just need to be surrounded by the right type of women friends—the ones who inspire me, are ready to lift me up when I am feeling down, and who call my bluff. Hanging out with women who I respect has added fun, joy, and laughter to my life.

3. Lay on grass. Mother Nature provides for, nurtures, and loves us. I periodically plan outdoor picnics with friends. I also enjoy taking a mat, walking to a nearby park, and lying on a grass patch. I then breathe the scent of grass in, feel the earth underneath me, allow myself to absorb the loving energies of nature, and surrender completely to the support.

4. Drink tea. Besides the health benefits of tea, drinking it has a calming effect on me—whether stirring, smelling, or sipping. The act of drinking tea facilities me to think, regroup, and restore my frayed nerves. My favourite teas include peppermint, camomile, and white.

5. People-watch. On occasion, in addition to tea drinking, I sit in a quiet corner of a café and engage in my favourite activities: reading and people watching. I observe the way passersby dress and walk, and weave stories of what they do for a living, where they’re going, and what kind of relationships they have. This idyllic way of spending part of my time gives room for my imagination to wander.

6. Sit still. Sitting with a deliberate intent to meditate was a challenge until I embarked on a course to teach meditation. Now, I sit in meditation every day between 30 minutes to an hour, and enjoy this solitary activity. I emerge feeling safe, secure, centred, and whole.

7. Schedule empty time. Stress, anxiety, worry, and tension are all enemies of our feminine essence. Rather than get caught up with getting a lot done in short periods of time, I now pace myself and schedule in blocks of empty time where I can zip out of the office for a quick tea, meal, walk, or stay indoors to meditate or nap. In guarding my energy, I can be more present and effective when with clients.

The nurturing of your feminine energy is not a one-time fix, but rather an ongoing journey you have with yourself. Thus why it’s a practice.

Which of these practices resonates with you? Do you have suggestions of what other practices I could do? I’d love to hear from you!


Relephant read:

The Divine Feminine is on the Rise.


Author: Martha Tara Lee
Image: Jeffrey/Flickr
Editor: Leah Sugerman
Copy Editor: Nicole Cameron
Social Editor: Taia Butler

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Brandi Mahurin-Wright Sep 23, 2017 5:48pm

Thank you for sharing your perspective, I enjoyed your take on feminity and that you don't have to be a 'girly girl', which I am not, to still be feminine. I will say some of these practices can be universal and not just feminine but none the less good for us all. My favorite practice you list was #2, hang with the girls...I have found since I've gotten older than I have set aside those friendships that cause me drama and distress and picked up friends who build me up and inspire me to be better and do better. I do have one questions, what are sticker nails; when I googled this I got a bunch of nail stickers? I ask because I enjoy having my nails done but hate the cost and damage of acrylics.

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Martha Tara Lee

Dr. Martha Tara Lee is the founder and clinical sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a doctorate in human sexuality. She provides sexuality and relationship coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexuality education workshops, and speaks at public events. She is the host of the weekly radio show, Eros Evolution, on OMTimes Radio, and author of the books Love, Sex and Everything In-Between and Orgasmic Yoga. Catch up with Martha by email or visit her website.