— Glennon Doyle (@GlennonDoyle) October 2, 2017
By this time in our lives, many of us have already watched the lives we “planned” burn to the ground.
And we’ve built—or perhaps, have begun building—new lives from the ashes of the old.
We’ve figured out that the ideas we had when we were younger don’t accurately reflect the ebb and flow of life or factor in the changes that seem to come out of left field.
Life is much more complicated than we ever knew. It’s beautiful and wondrous, challenging and painful, and amazingly abundant. We can be humbled by kindness, inspired by beauty, or destroyed by a careless word. We find out that love and grief are two sides of the same coin, flipping through the air and falling to us when we least expect it.
This is life. There are certain people who live the struggle and come out of it sharing their wisdom in hopes of helping those who haven’t yet made it out. They are the hope-bringers. They take their raw, aching vulnerability and share it—and they don’t do it because it’s fun or easy. They tell us their stories, because they know what it’s like, and they feel such compassion that they cannot stay silent in the face of others’ pain.
Glennon Doyle Melton is one of those hope-bringers. She’s a lightworker who champions love, and she reminds us that pain and struggle are essential parts of our growth. Her words resonate with me so deeply that I long to pluck them from their pages and tuck them into my heart, where I can carry them around for when I need them. Because the human experience is shared, I know that I cannot be alone in needing that light.
For this reason, I offer up these Glennon Doyle Melton quotes that we might all carry in our hearts. May they be of benefit!
“No woman on earth doesn’t give a f*ck—no woman is that cool—she’s just hidden her fire. Likely, it’s burning her up.”
“What if pain—like love—is just a place brave people visit?”
“We know what the world wants from us. We know we must decide whether to stay small, quiet, and uncomplicated—or allow ourselves to grow as big, loud, and complex as we were made to be. Every girl must decide whether to be true to herself or true to the world. Every girl must decide whether to settle for adoration or fight for love.”
“People who are hurting don’t need avoiders, protectors, or fixers. What we need are patient, loving witnesses. People to sit quietly and hold space for us. People to stand in helpful vigil to our pain.”
“The sun shows up every morning, no matter how bad you’ve been the night before. It shines without judgment. It never withholds. It warms the sinners, the saints, the druggies, the cheerleaders—the saved and the heathens alike. You can hide from the sun, but it wont take you personally. It’ll never, ever punish you for hiding. You can stay in the dark for years or decades, and when you finally step outside, it’ll be there.”
“The journey is learning that pain, like love, is simply something to surrender to. It’s a holy space we can enter with people only if we promise not to tidy up.”
“I’m not a mess, but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now, when someone asks me why I cry so often, I say, ‘For the same reason I laugh so often—because I’m paying attention.’ I tell them that we can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved. We must decide.”
“Wherever you go, there you are. Your emptiness goes with you. Maddening. Things that help: writing, reading, water, walks, forgiving myself every other minute, practicing easy yoga, taking deep breaths, and petting my dogs. These things don’t fill me completely, but they remind me that it is not my job to fill myself. It’s just my job to notice my emptiness and find graceful ways to live as a broken, unfilled human…if there’s a silver lining to the emptiness, here it is: the unfillable is what brings people together. I’ve never made a friend by bragging about my strengths, but I’ve made countless by sharing my weakness and my emptiness.”
“Since brokenness is the way of folks, the only way to live peacefully is to forgive everyone constantly, including yourself.”
“That’s how you can tell that you’re filling yourself with the wrong things. You use a lot of energy, and in the end, you feel emptier and less comfortable than ever.”
Author: Crystal Jackson
Image: Twitter @GlennonDoyle
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
Copy Editor: Travis May
Social Editor: Cat Monkman