October 30, 2017

Forgetting Fear & Embracing Surprise.

“To Surprise (verb): to strike or occur to with a sudden feeling of wonder or astonishment, as through unexpectedness.”


People no longer surprise us.

People, we find, in this modern day and age, are rather predictable and, frankly, mundane. Society has molded us to be quite content hiding behind a screen instead of saying hi to that cute girl or guy we like.

It has shaped us to not create beautiful things simply because we do not feel adequate. And sadly, it has given us a reason to not surprise ourselves because we’re terrified of what everyone else will think.

In today’s world, modern technology has taken over all sense of our interpersonal communications. It has, unfortunately, utterly destroyed the human ability to genuinely show true meaning or care toward another person, ourselves, our creations, or anything we might generally take a love or interest in simply because we’re scared.

We no longer value showing true affection or surprising another person with genuine admiration. Why is this? Fear? The idea we might be rejected? Even shunned from society for speaking or showing our true emotions? We are so damn scared that we will be rejected or turned down that we have literally just given up all together—instead of standing up and speaking our truth.

The older we get, the more truth reveals itself—and the truth is we do not become wiser.

It’s actually all ass-backward. It seems as though the older we become, the more terrified we are to do something of great value. Whether that is taking a chance on a brilliant business venture, telling that special person in our lives that we love them, or finally making the choice to walk away from a relationship that is not meeting our needs. The truth of the matter all remains the same—we are scared. We are scared to surprise ourselves. And we are scared to surprise others.

People are scared—everywhere around us. People are freaking terrified.

Let’s flip this perspective for a second. Let’s stop and ask ourselves one very important question: what have we got to lose? I mean, obviously if it’s a life or death choice you’ve got to make here, be sensible. But in the scheme of things, it’s a pretty fair question to ask ourselves.

Why are we so scared? Why are we all so damn terrified to live our f*cking lives?

Just do it already. Live!

We may have become cynics over the years. And we may no longer believe in love or that things happen for a reason. But one thing we can always count on is surprise will appear whether we want it to or not. We may not always have the answers, and we may sometimes truly feel the anxiety and pressures from carrying mountains we shouldn’t be—but that shouldn’t stop us.

Life is so much less than it could be if we are not truly putting in some effort and scaring the sh*t out of ourselves a little to get what we want and to be exactly where we want to. Isn’t that the point of it all?

My whole life my motto has been this: if you are not happy with where you are, how you look, or with what you’re doing with and for your life—then change it.

It may seem traumatizing to think about actually acting on our dream, but what’s more traumatizing, at least to me, is remaining complacent.

Our lives are so very short and so very temporary, so why do we continue to waste time on things that bring us no passion, feeling of gratitude, and no genuine care or love? Why do we keep doing this to ourselves simply because we are scared? What’s the worst that could happen?

I’m honestly more terrified of what will happen to me if I don’t change the things in my life that give me anxiety. I refuse to succumb to the bullsh*t ways of modern society, and I absolutely refuse to continue to put all my energy into relationships—intimate, family, work, friendships, whatever have you—that are not helping me replenish my tank and live to my fullest potential.

Ever wonder how and why people have mental breakdowns? It’s not because people are crazy, it’s because we continue to give and give and give until we are literally depleted of all our energy, and we just finally snap.

So here’s my advice for the day. Say no. And then say yes. Say no to the things that cause more stress than they ignite passion. And say yes to the things that help replenish your tank and light your fire. Be there for yourself and just be the true authentic person you were put on this planet to be.

Say yes to surprising yourself.

Hard to do? Maybe. But the choice is simple. The choice is one that will inherently make our lives more valuable and more rewarding (even if it’s just choosing to read a book instead of attending that work function). Try it, just once. Surprise yourself!




Author: Stephanie Nemchik
Image: Elephant Journal Instagram
Editor: Travis May
Copy Editor: Nicole Cameron
Social Editor: Waylon Lewis

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Stephanie Nemchik