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December 28, 2017

Grudges & Paid Debts. {Poem}

Warning: naughty language!

~

Grudges & Paid Debts.

I hold grudges like
debts to be paid
and when reminded of the
Debt
a small wave washes over me…
remember
they still owe you
and if you don’t remember
this thing
and all the details surrounding it
you won’t be able to prove yourself
you won’t be able to validate
your feelings
and finally
finally
be acknowledged by them.
But they’ve already forgotten
or more likely
blacked it out
because remembering shit
you did to other humans
is too fucking painful
and you can’t acknowledge
that maybe
at that time
your actions were hurtful
when you’re too busy scavenging for love yourself.
So instead, I forgave them
and the feeling that washed over me then
was like crossing a long overdue task
off the things to do list.
because forgiveness isn’t something you go get
from other people
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself
to unburden your heart
and say,
We don’t need to remember this anymore
the debt is paid.

~

Author: Caitlin Sommer
Image: R. A. Portrait Design
Editor: Catherine Monkman
Copy Editor: Lieselle Davidson
Social Editor: Emily Bartran

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Caitlin Sommer