We are all weaving a web in this life.
I have come to know this beautiful life resembles the same beauty as a spider web.
There is an intricate web in which we are all are tangled up in. We all coexist and are working toward the common goal of infinite love. Then there is also our individual webs that weave and that change direction according to each and every decision we make.
Each web contains no wrong turns or judgments. And there are always alternative paths. There is never really any endings, just closings so new, desired beginnings can spring alive.
We began our web at birth when our mothers pushed us toward our new world of experience. With each breath, word, action, and choice, we began weaving.
Each web is as unique as the soul it was created by.
When this concept began to become clear to me, I was deep in healing with a lover whose web was intertwining with mine. Our paths crossed to pull out old wounds, beliefs, and ideas that no longer serve who I have grown into being.
Our energies were a match, and sometimes that match isn’t at all about the energy you thought you were putting out into the world. With each truth we shared, step we took, and choice we made in love—the more our realities shifted. The more we were able to see and communicate what we each wanted our paths to diverge into becoming, revelations and moments of clarity began to awaken new ideas and truths.
Life was showing me through contrast what my soul desired. And with those desires, there is the letting go of what is not. This part is the hardest liberation I have experienced. Letting go of someone you love unconditionally can feel like you are only removing one finger at a time from their skin. It can feel as if time has stopped. You are standing still and wonder, how did I get here to this moment of pain. And, will the burning in my heart ever go away?
I learned that the deeper I go down the rabbit hole of clarity, the lessons deepen as well. As the love intensifies, the need for separation from attachment heightens. That is the beautiful duality in which we are swimming in.
But the most obvious lesson that arose was the more expansion I desire, the more I must let go of what was, what I thought I wanted, or how I thought the outcome would look. My truth is: attachment leads to suffering. Expectation can lead to resentment and anger. And trying to deny the many directions that my web can take me can cause an abandonment of my true self.
This beautiful life is a never-ending, multiple-reality-creating web of desire. We will always want more because we will always want growth. We can shift, move, and jump from one dimension to the next. There are many “realities” to choose from, but I have come to know a few interesting scenarios over the last year.
There is the vision of what I would expect to occur. The outcome I saw come to life when I met someone opened the door of a desired bliss and trust that I could see manifest.
I saw the adventures, intimacy, and a love that is ever evolving play in my mind like a movie.
I created a world of what I craved, consciously or subconsciously, within the now.
But, that may not be the lesson. They may have come for a short time to help a healing occur, spark awake dormant cells, and shake me to my core.
My power arises from these encounters. This power may just be the power of remembrance and then walking away. A power well earned after walking through the pain.
In this space of higher thinking, I remembered that each moment of connection and love is a gift.
I became aware that the only person that belongs to me is this body of flesh I chose for this life.
Nothing outside of my being can give me true happiness if I can not give it to myself first.
In this state, I understand that anyone I love is my mirror in some form. And I have an opportunity to show myself and the world the most beautiful kind of love.
The love of non-attachment.
The liberating act of letting someone be loved and free is a step into a higher dimension where ego has no control or power.
I sway in and out of these realities.
From pain to bliss and back again—from the memories of all I am grateful for, to unwanted thoughts from my past where conditioning and shadows try and keep my mind spinning.
It is a daily practice of self-soothing that I am learning to master.
And throughout my days, I see more and more realities play out that are hard to put into words.
So, I begin to trust myself more and understand that things are always working out for me. And I continue the weaving of my web. I ask for help when I need it. I reach out to compassionate souls who can hold the space when I need to cry and release. And I remember that everything along my path is helping me see the wholeness of who I am.
This beautiful web that we weave has more layers than our human minds can even comprehend. When our hearts are breaking and we forget to breathe, it is never as bad as we feel it to be. Time will heal our open cracks. There is always a light wanting come into our wounds.
When our bodies get sick and begin to send us messages, there is always a cure. All we have to do is listen. Be willing to change, let go, and move forward.
When we feel like we are losing someone, it is because we are losing ourselves amidst the illusion of pain. Our highest selves won’t go with us on the pity-party, “I am not worthy enough” train. The discomfort we feel is when we are losing alignment with our true selves. Not the self we portray most days to the world, but the self that knows at all times, everything is always going to be alright.
Our web is going to continue to be created.
We each get the choice of creating our web unconsciously or by our deliberate desires, thoughts, and actions. The web I have created with many others so far in my life helps me see the lessons I had to face. It was the “rabbit hole” I had to jump into without fear holding me back. I had to learn to embrace being seen.
I am still going back and forth from pain to bliss, but I don’t sit in self-pity for long. I am not a helpless victim. I now know that I am not being abandoned or let go of because I am unworthy.
I am being set free. I know I am worthy of love because I am love. And I know the universe is consistent it its unwavering delivery of matching me with exactly who I have unfolded into becoming.
The wings I have grown into are getting more and more comfortable everyday.
We are all web weavers, love seekers, and masters of manifesting. So go on, create that magical, glistening web you desire for yourself. Be seen, be heard, be vulnerable—be unapologetic with the medicine you are here to give the world.
Author: Britt Johnson
Image: Elephant Archives
Editor: Travis May
Copy Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
...is a new feature on Elephant Journal—enabling you to instantly share your mindful ideas, photos, art, YouTube videos/Instagram links & writings with our 5 million readers. Try it Now.