March 2, 2018

Do you Hold Her?

What do you do when she cries?

Do you hold her awkwardly, telling her all the reasons why she shouldn’t cry, and see her as weak, pathetic, and needy?

Do you flee, hide, pretend you don’t see her pain, and hope she gets over it?

Do you get angry and ask, “What’s wrong?”—impatient for her to get “control” of herself?

Do you drop the ball?

Or do you honor her in her emotion, hold her without judgment, quietly stroke her hair, and let her know that you’re here for her, and everything will be fine?

A crying woman isn’t a woman out of control. A crying woman is a woman who, just for a moment, is giving you an opportunity to be her strength. Here is your window of opportunity to show her that she doesn’t have to always be strong, always powerful, always nurturing. If you blow this, you miss a very special opportunity to show her that she is safe with you, that you have her back, and that you are the kind of man that deserves to hold her heart.

Show up for her now, and you have empowered and reenergized her in ways you can scarcely imagine. A woman can birth, nurture, inspire, create, and celebrate, and bring amazing gifts to men…and on those rare times when they must fall into your arms and be held, they have earned that right to be vulnerable, to be open, and to feel safe.

And the amazing thing is that when you hold her in this space, you open that space within yourself. We all hold divinity within us, our mix of the feminine and the masculine. When we honor a woman’s time for vulnerability, we honor our own—and when we need to be held and loved, she will be there for us.

Just tell her that you’re here for her, and that it’s alright, that she doesn’t have to be strong all the time.

You’ll be amazed at the strength and connection that will result.



Author: Michael Inanna
Image: Annie Spratt/Unsplash
Editor: Callie Rushton
Copy Editor: Lieselle Davidson

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