August 30, 2018

Men Won’t Admit they are “Weak” & Need Help.

The age of woman is upon us.

It’s unfortunate that it has taken this long, but, nonetheless, it is here.

Women are becoming overwhelmingly powerful—their voices have never been louder.

It’s also a time for them to embrace their femininity, whatever that might mean. They can reclaim the masculine side of themselves and be the tough warriors they want to be, or claim the more feminine side and be the nurturer. The options are endless.

Now—what are men to do? I don’t mean that in the way of “Oh my god, women are taking over the world!” In fact, I believe the world needs more feminine influence. We need nurturers and woman warriors in places of power to rebuild a fragile world that has been run by men since the beginning. What I mean is that men should take this opportunity to learn more about—and embrace—their feminine side.

Men have always had the stereotype of being the warrior, the protector, the strong one that holds the world on his shoulders. As a man, I have tried this for longer than I should have. I was the strong one through times of grief, loss, and stress. Being overly emotional was not an option—both because I felt like I had to stand tall and because of the stigma that goes along with “being a man.”

Over the past year, I have dealt with depression, anxiety, loss, and stress. The biggest mistake I made in all of these was “being a man” and holding it in. I didn’t want to show weakness. I didn’t want to admit to the people around me that I was “weak.”

For the last year, it tore me up. I was walking tall through life in the eyes of others, while in my head I was curled up in the fetal position, waiting for the waves to settle. I was hoping that I could tough it out.

The hard truth that men, and society as a whole, need to realize is that men can and should be—dare I say it—feminine. They should embrace their feminine side and learn from the strong women around them.

Look around at the women in your life. I would bet they cry more than the men. I would bet they need a hug more and lean on their friends more than the men. They are more apt to scream at the top of their lungs.

But, I would also bet that if you look at all the woman in your life, they have happier, healthier friendships and relationship because of how open and honest they are. Because they let their emotions free with the people in their lives—and they are immensely stronger for it.

But here’s the issue: you can’t ask most men if this is the case—they won’t admit to it. They wont admit they are “weak” and need help. They won’t admit that they just need someone to talk to, and they aren’t going to go to poker night to cry on their buddies’ shoulders over bourbon and cigars.

They won’t do it, because the assumption is that “men” don’t do that. That stigma needs to change in the eyes of both women and men.

So, just as the world needs to realize and accept how strong and masculine women can be, it needs to realize that men have moments of vulnerability and fragility that need to be embraced. The more we understand this as a society, the faster we will move along in men and women understanding each other deeply. Political, racial, and gender lines will change as we all become more understanding and accepting of what we, as different sexes, experience, and how we view the world.

With better understanding comes faster change.

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Jake Charow

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