so my story starts with my keloid scars. They are actually a really bad case which could have left me crumbling and angry in my life, but i chose to choose love and a brave pursuit to fall in love with my differences instead of seeing them as a burden.
My journey has been a difficult one when it comes to my ‘imperfections’ as some people might call them… at 16 i was on a drug for my acne and my body responded in a weird way and decided to manifest painful keloid scars across my chest and shoulders. (which grew larger and larger each year)

unsightly or artistic….. if there is one thing i have learnt is that when it comes to external things in life – it is all about perception and that perception must start with you.

I want to share with you 8 ways that helped me come in to my power instead of hiding from my unique differences.
i know it can be difficult when it comes to ‘acceptance’ – at the end of the day in our family , our circles of friends, our work – we strive for acceptance.

striving for real self love and self acceptance i’m not going to lie 😀 took years – years of discovering, trial and error, courage to rise and courage to fall. (so i’m going to give you a head-start 😉
if you have anything in your life that you think is stopping you from living the life of your dreams or even going after what your heart wants, stop right now and KNOW that this isn’t true.

where you think its your external world making you feel this – its actually you being your own limit. And i’m going to explain why and how you can change your life and start living in your truth with the confidence of queen Beyonce herself.

1. TRAVEL,TRAVEL,TRAVEL AND EXPOSE YOUR TRUTH

you want to know why… well for me this is 100 percent how and why i started accepting myself fully – it also helped me define myself and explore who i really am…something i think a lot of us in the western world forget to work on!
so – i don’t know why it took me travelling to different countries to find this self acceptance but it sure was a trigger for a shift to take place.

one of the main things i noticed was how different peoples reactions around the world were to my scars – have you ever noticed this ?
The more east of the world i went, my scars were perceived as beauty and art – and some people thought that i did the marks on my body on purpose like a kind of tribal / sacrificial thing (this is my favourite interpretation so far 😉

in Mexico – i felt powerful because people saw me expose them and again were sure that they were intentional….

in Australia they thought my scars were cool ( notice how i’m only talking from the positive perceptions! this is important)
so setting yourself free in foreign grounds is a lot more comforting because initially you don’t care about judgment and acceptance as much as you do in your own environment.

Remember you are only given things in life that you are strong enough to handle
turn that pain in to power
and if you get caught up in the small minded crowds – just respond ‘i’m not from This planet’ and carry on being brave…:)

2. FITNESS – AID YOUR MIND AND FREE YOUR BODY

does anyone else here agree that the gym can be quite disempowering ? Especially when your trying to transform your health and body…
the gym doesn’t motivate me .. it kind of does the opposite because i feel it makes me focus on vanity (too many mirrors around) instead of the more important thing like – empowering myself through keeping myself fit and healthy .

my career as a vocalist/ performer means i do have a very active lifestyle – but i think the main thing that gives me body confidence is working out in empowering environments

my favourite ways to work out are
Vinyasa Yoga classes Reformer Pilates Hiking in nature Walking everywhere !!!

also why don’t you take yourself on a health retreat that does yoga or hiking …
this is the best place to meet like minded people and surround yourself with empowered individuals because these forms of exercise are humble and transformational…

3. READ, READ, READ FEMALE EMPOWERMENT

Learning about the power of women and why you should be in awe of every inch of your self is a great reminder when life can make you feel suppressed…
one thing i think helps is reading and not just reading but taking bits from the books be it quotes or a paragraph and noting them down in a notepad..if you don’t mind graffiti all over your book – grab a highlighter and highlight words , paragraphs 😀

my recommended books for empowerment … ‘RISE SITER RISE’ by Rebecca Campbell

‘Rise for you ,rise for me , when you rise first you rise for she ‘
Hands down this book made me recognise my inner goddess – we are such powerful beings and i feel reading this book made me realise and recognise how my perception of myself flaws and all , literally dictates how my life unfolds….

‘THE OPTIMIZED WOMAN’ by Miranda Gray & ‘MOONOLOGY’ by Yasmin Boland
Ok – so these books kinda circle around the one thing we have as women that men don’t have

and cant access – our cycles.

its amazing how we are given cycles to literally live the most powerful life ever.. one quote i love is ‘THE WORLD WILL BE SAVED BY THE WESTERN WOMAN’
I think what this taps in to is the truth of the access we have.

but – focusing on our negatives and insecurities will never allow us to access that.
so lets learn more about what god gave us and only us – there is a massive sense of empowerment and acceptance that circles around it.

‘THE YOGA OF EATING’ by Charles Eisenstein

the yoga of eating presents a whole new approach, a path of self-trust and self- exploration. this book doesn’t tell you ‘what’ to eat and ‘what not’ to eat. it is a book about distinguishing superficial cravings from authentic appetites to give your body the nutrition it needs, information about choosing from hundreds of diets on the market and identifying the one that comes closest to meeting your unique needs, it helps you build trust in your natural body and natural self .

this book is a world of interesting knowledge about diet and health and will definitely make you question things in your own.

4. FIND YOUR TRIBE AND COMMUNITY

when you start living in your truth for real just see how your tribe flocks to you like magnets.
i would suggest following empowered groups and individuals on social media… people who live in strength and authenticity – let their light lead you to live in your own light! it helps.

An example of people who are ‘your tribe’ people – i was on a contract years ago on a cruise ship in a ‘Supreme Dream girls’ show, now at this point in my life i wasn’t as confident and i still let my scars dictate what i wear and what i expose to people.
Lucky for me the other 2 performers i was working with, they were grown ass women who owned themselves, being around them gave me a certain sense of confidence – so for the first time ever – when we docked the ship in Italy , Barcelona and all these beautiful and HOT locations i decided ill go outside in a vest top instead of a t shirt and save me sweating my ass off….

for the first time ever walking these streets – people would stare. and some would point and question what my scars were under their breaths…… even though this was difficult to handle at first – my girls would get more pissed off then me! and literally shout out ‘do you not know its rude to stare!

It made me giggle and lit up this confidence within me.
because of my tribe i managed to accept myself and my scars more and more until i was ready to go out on my own and bare the stares…..

‘I CANT THINK OF ANY BETTER REPRESENTATION OF BEATUY THAN SOMEONE WHO IS UNAFRAID TO BE HERSELF’. EMMA STONE

Some cool accounts to follow @winnieharlow @goldenthoughts @allliemichellel @goldensoulflower @scarrednotscared

5. SELF LOVE ….. FELINE GROOMING

notice how a cat always has time to groom herself….
Its time to be more feline :).
you know i never fail in this department because it has become a habit and its not really a common thing for us to do because our lives are so distracted and busy. – but i have made self care and self love the centre point of my existence for some time now and it works WONDERS <3

SO …
buy yourself those flowers (weekly) get those scented candles

Buy those new bed sheets
have that bubble bath (with the candles you bought)
get that expensive good quality chocolate that makes you love life while you eat it.

gifting yourself frequently has something to do with your self – worth
yes its not really about materialistic things – its more about giving back to yourself things that make you happy – things that light you up -things that make you smile ….
don’t wait for other people to do that for you.. its key to self love and accepting yourself – recognising your beauty and importance here.
a blog i love to follow is a collaboration of leona lewis and Maloy

@leeloyblog
a mindful life and style blog

Also – if you prefer hobbies sitting down , check out Pinterest and start making boards of things you love and stuff that inspires you.. check mine out for inspiration at Nela Modos on the Pinterest app… PIN AWAY…

6. LISTEN TO AND WATCH INSPIRING PEOPLE

Successful people who live in that space of vulnerability and who have created that space to be a voice and a message are important people to inspire you to do exactly that in your own space and path….
if you haven’t noticed already – the most successful and influential people in history and to this date, either have adversities or have lived through circumstantial adversities… research it! its true

i find the best way to enlighten yourself through others who you can relate to are watching videos on youtube and following podcasts and listening to them throughout the day

my favourite on you tube is @infinite waters and @tedtalks

my favourite podcasts are hands down @Oprahs Supersoul conversations (i have a slight obsession with Oprah)
and @happy place by Fearne cotton

7. MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST

go and buy a notebook and make gratitude a habit!!!
besides this helping you – it also has a kind of ripple affect and seeps positive energy out to the world and other people.
there are gratitude journals you can buy or even just make your own.

everyday when you wake up and go to sleep or both, write things down that you are grateful for – things from that day, things in your life, moments, memories, blogs, influential people, family, friends, food…… there is so much to be grateful for and voicing it not only brings you a sense of peace and happiness , it actually draws more of the good stuff in to your life.

i think doing this for me shifted my career in to a very prosperous avenue.
instead of seeing my life in lack i started seeing it in abundance regardless of where i was in the moment (most of the time i was sitting in the park watching ducks on the lake while i take a break from sending my cv and website off to managers, agents and job opportunities)

it also installed that faith and hope in myself and my path.
Gratitude is a powerful thing. make it a habit and just see how your life changes.

8. DO A PHOTO SHOOT WITH YOUR MESSAGE ALL OVER IT 🙂

catch me on instagram at nela_modos – weekly and daily stories and always there inspiring you to live your truth.https://www.iamnelamodos.com/my-blog