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March 12, 2019

How Hypnotherapy saved me from Myself

Most people think hypnotism is for addiction

Did you ever stop to consider you are addicted to your thoughts?

Ask yourself this…

What would your life look like if the toxic people and situations no longer existed?

Imagine waking up tomorrow, next week, next month or sometime this year without the burden of the thoughts that paralyze you right now?

Imagine a world where, yes, of course, you will feel them again.

But imagine if they no longer controlled your life, in fact, YOU controlled THEM?

Pretty unbelievable right?

4 months ago I would never have thought this could be a reality for me.


When I heard a podcast about hypnotherapy healing a man paralyzed from war, I realised, I was, in a sense, paralyzed.

Paralyzed with fear, impeccably low self-worth and repetitive behaviours.

Theoretically, I was (and still am) living a life I have ALWAYS dreamed of.

But on the inside, I had some serious unprocessed emotions and stunted self-esteem.

I kicked Bulimia to the curb in 2018 but, I was still a victim to my other addictions: social media, overeating, undereating and exercise to compensate for my overeating.

For most of my life, I have believed I got the short end of the stick in the looks department.


Identify yourself as anything; Bulimic, anxious, fat, ugly or any kind of label and you can guarantee that will define you.

It will become so true in your core that it will replay over and over in your mind, which will make every cell in your body believe you are a VICTIM!  This, most of the time manifests into a disease.

You are what you eat? Nah uh! You are what you think.


When you are stuck everything seems to move slower. You are tired all of the time.

When fear really intensely grips with you, you either give up or you pull up your sleeves, muster up what little hope you have left and say ‘I got this….’

You scan the internet for success stories, and you stumble upon something that resonates with you.

For me, it was GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS FAST. Take my money, please fix me.


In Australia, I had been into the forest with Sharmens, Cognitive Behavioural therapy, Doctors (who wrongfully prescribed me on anti-depressants in 2014 and I tried to kill myself), hospitals, kinesiologists. You name it, my credit card and I did it.

I’d tapped my forehead for hours a day saying ‘I do not have an eating disorder, I love and accept myself, no one is talking about me.’  

I went to juice fasting retreats. I did vegan, FODMAPS, I yelled at the moon.

After 5 years of yoyo’ing between high highs and low lows… I was down to my last fucking nerve.


In December last year, I came home from a party, for the 4000th time, crying in an uber because I felt like a monster, thinking everyone was laughing at me. Dramatic, I know.

I suffered many years of repetitive negative self-talk, although, since I started on the journey of healing myself, it became MUCH less. But for me, this was the last straw.

If this problem has followed me to 4 different countries then there is either something wrong with me, or…. it is, essentially all in my head….. right?


That is when I found Ryan Jenkins (

I read over his success stories and an overwhelming hope spread through my tired bones.

In my first initial consultation, I blurted out all of the above. He assured me in his soothing tone that this was the day things were going to change for me…. And I believed him.

We established in the first consultation that all of my self-destructive behaviours stemmed from fear, low self-worth and not feeling safe in my place in this world.

So instead of reliving my pain and issues each week, Ryan went straight into teaching my subconscious how to disassociate with these behaviours and strengthen my self-worth. I had nothing else to believe in.

We experience hypnosis every single day. For example, we can experience highway hypnosis when we enter a car, start driving and realise we have arrived but cannot remember the journey at all.

Or when we are reading a book and have become so totally engrossed in the experience that hours can pass without us even noticing. Have you ever read a book that has changed you forever? That’s the power of hypnosis. – Ryan Jenkins, Hypnotherapy in Barcelona


The next day, I sat in the magic chair as Ryan’s voice cooed me into hypnosis extremely quickly.

I found myself completely numb while my animal brain went on its usual mindlessness dialogue… What if I just paid this money and it doesn’t work?

What if I am not in hypnosis right now?

OMG remember that time 3 years ago when I waved at someone who was waving to the person behind me!


When he counted me out of hypnosis I came out of my daze feeling slightly liberated and a little bit like ‘Hey am I fixed now?!’  As Ryan hugged me goodbye and I made my way out onto the streets of Barcelona, I knew I was onto something magical here. Of course, I was not fixed, but everything felt a little brighter.


What changed after hypnosis.

After 4 sessions I walked taller. Every human interaction elated me and the receiver.

People smile at me on the street.

I started saying no to others and yes to myself.

I am willing to take a punch if it means honouring myself.

If I encounter a bump in my day I do what I need to do almost in autopilot.

I have changed how I talk about my problems.

If it really affects me, I allow myself 10 minutes of feeling the emotion but no attachment.

I also try to get to the core of why it is happening and heal that within myself. (Ever heard that saying ‘Everything happens for a reason?.)

My skin is brighter.

I fearlessly walk into rooms full of people.

I don’t blame myself for other people’s behaviour towards me.

I see a different person in the mirror, in fact, I kind I love and cherish this woman.

I became addicted to self-development.

I put on 5kg and could not give the slightest fuck.

I love my hips and derriere! And so does everyone else 😉

I feel skinny without the burden of my thoughts.

I CREATED A WHOLE GODDAM NEW REALITY FOR MYSELF and then, I wanted a life that matched IOS KATIE 9.0 so I moved to Portugal to start again.

And believe me, when you live in a reality where your actions match your thoughts, opportunities literally throw themselves at you!


Now, don’t close this tab and think OMG I CAN FIX EVERYTHING…. TOMORROW!

Away from Ryan’s chair, I do a lot of homework.

Self-development has become my #1 and is a full-time eternal job.

I now self-hypnosis myself 5-7 times a week.

I intermittent fast, I say no to anything that is not a FUCK YES, which has resulted in distance and not wanting to associate with particular behaviours/scenarios

I exercise every day even if it’s on my bedroom floor. I say affirmations in the mirror.

And of course, the big one. Magic Mushrooms. Curious? Thought so.

You can find out about my work with mushrooms at


So how did I go from a worthless loser to an absolute queen in my OWN mind?

Play around, pick and choose what works for you.

Don’t wait until you are in crisis before making a move.

Hypnotherapy – 4 weekly sessions initially, 1 monthly ‘tune-up’ session.

Mushrooms – Every 14-28 days, inside, alone, after a 12 hour fast.

CBD – 2 drops 12% under the tongue at night time. (Instagram:


Additional – Self Hypnosis, 5HTP, Daily exercise, Sleep Hypnosis, Meditation and of course, the absolute love of my life but no longer an escape… WINE.


We’re all at war with a chemical imbalance. It’s all on you to make it happen. To stop self-sabotaging yourself with alcohol, drugs and men and get back to your purpose.

Conquer that brain of yours my dear friends, and you will NEVER HAVE TO CONQUER ANYTHING EVER AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAM LIFE!!!

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