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March 17, 2019

The Magic of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a very deep feeling of sincerely and unconditionally letting go of all our expectations; all our emotions triggered by our expectations; and releasing everything that holds us back.

In my life, forgiveness has been a constant – I have swum across seas of pain only to find myself washed ashore by the loving heart to forgive.

Forgiveness does not happen overnight. When we are wounded by life-threatening traumatic experience: rejection, betrayal, abandonment, hurt; it is easy to become an emotional prisoner of that experience. For so long I wallowed in the sorrow and hurt, shocked, scared and confused by my pain. A moment of awakening happened to me when I was in so much pain, that I had no choice but to face this pain. I then had to embrace the pain and its wisdom, and open my heart in love – for everyone who hurt me, through it.

I have been tumbling around for a very long time, but when I forgive, I can fly and soar.


When we are hurt, the red dragon of anger is rising from the deep hell of our shadows to protect our wounded child from the pain.

When it happens, our heart is closing down to protect itself from pain.

When our heart is closed, we might not feel pain so much, but we cannot love any longer either.

When we are hurt, all we want is to get ourselves protected and to get our wounded child to the safe space – where nobody and nothing is hurting him or her any longer. We build up the walls, the boundaries, the barriers to hide our vulnerable loving heart from pain.

Those boundaries are to keep us safe, but the same boundaries become our prison, the barriers we have built against LOVE.


Pain is our friend.

Dancing with the shadows in the darkness is the way toward the light; is the way toward love.

When we open our heart to love our abusers, through our pain; when we see their wounded children, who are hurt and hurting, for who they are; when we befriend the darkness, well enough, to be able to open up our heart, through the darkness, toward light, love them all for who they are, only then shall we embrace the light; only then we can choose love for ourselves and others.

When we know our demons, only then shall we be able to open up our hearts to LOVE them. When we love all the demons – our own and the demons of others; only then we could mindfully choose the light, mindfully chose love.

There won’t be anyone left to forgive, as no one is better than others.

We all do not know until we know.

Forgive yourself for not knowing. Forgive them, the abusers, for not knowing. We all are just wounded kids walking each other home. No one is better than another.


“We are wounded children walking each other home” – Ram Dass


I have learned that there is peace in forgiving wounded kids in grown-up men bodies – who are hurting and are hurt. I see them where they are, I accept them the way they are, and I love them for who they are.

As I surrender to the journey of forgiveness, I realize that nothing else, but our emotional pain: fears, shame, blame, resentment, abandonment, rejection, regrets, jealousy, etc… all those painful heavy low vibes emotions that we have allowed, as the childish response to our own shadows; hold us locked in a jail of pain. By allowing our pain to stay, by not releasing and healing it immediately, we are turning it onto the suffering for ourselves.

We are those tyrants who are holding ourselves locked in jail of emotional stagnation. This jail is small, scary and dark. I remember vividly how I’d been stagnated by the suffering – by my anger and remorse, I was stolen from my passions and dreams.

Magic happens when we forgive, and let go.

Let go of everything; our hurt, our memories of pain, even our need to forgive, everything must go. Those people who hurt you, they did not know what they were doing! They are just wounded kids in grown-up men body.

Are you one of them?

Would you choose to see them for who they are, kiss them and hug them, and let them go?

Or would you choose to fight with that bunch of wounded kids, for sending the sand in the sandbox?

What would you mindfully choose?

Step out of that sandbox or keep fighting?

The magic happens when we forgive.

The pain that we have chosen to let go off and release from our being when gone is opening the space and the urge for our amazing dreams to finally manifest in our life.

Until we clear the space for them to arrive, until space is available for them to land, they just won’t. It will remain a barren land of feelings that will never serve our journey to healing and homecoming.

Very often we are so stuck in our past pain jail – in the squirrel day to day run of it, that we simply do not have time and space to manifest and live the life the way we really want it.

Let go of what has to go. Then, allow new lives and new love to birth a much stronger, loving, and beautiful you.

Our path is one of forgiveness and healing our past.

Today, I am forgiving and letting go of everything that needs to go and everyone who has to leave my life. I am opening my heart, through the pain, onto loving everyone, with understanding and compassionate kindness to who they are, for who they are, with no judgment.

To everyone who hurt me: I see you, I see your pain, I see your struggle.

I appreciate you keep walking your path, keep learning, and keep opening your heart toward love. To my higher self: Please forgive me for not knowing;

I am sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you (Ho’oponopono, Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness).

May we continue to forgive those wounded kids, who hurt us in the past: they simply did not know what they were doing; they simply did not know how to love. And let’s just love them more, so they could learn how it feels to be loved.

It is not their fault they keep breaking each other’s hearts, again and again. That’s where they are right now. That’s what they see. That’s their best of what they could do, so far.

We all are doing our best from the space we are at, aren’t we? One day per time.

When challenged, we peace harder, we love deeper, we forgive immediately, and we embrace the experience learned.


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Natasha Romanoff  |  Contribution: 1,030