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March 26, 2019

Why Positive Thinking Is Doing You More Harm Than Good.

Positive thinking is such a huge trend right now – it’s everywhere. Or, at least it seems that way! Back in the days, it just seemed to be something that ‘gurus’ and coaches were sharing and the rest of the people would kind of roll their eyes and be thinking to themselves ‘whatever!’ But now it seems like ‘everyone’s’ at it – just go to Instagram and I challenge you not to find at least 1 positive quote in your feed. Buddha, Lao Tzu, Confucius and the like have never been so popular!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all about the positive vibes too and it’s part of what I encourage through my work, however! It’s only a part of what I encourage. Why? Because positive thinking is only one side of the story – it’s like trying to ride a bike on only one wheel…not to mention that it’s doing you more harm than good.

Just like everything else in life, negative feelings and emotions have their place, but with this whole positive thinking movement going on, this is being overlooked and some people, maybe even you, end up feeling ashamed or guilty for having these negative feelings. Most people are using positive vibes only simply to glaze over/mask/ignore/numb their true feelings and this is where the problem lies.

In an attempt to rid themselves of these ‘bad’ feelings that are in opposition to the whole positive vibe trend that’s going on, they stuff their negative feelings down inside of them with the rest of the stuff they don’t want to feel or think about. And this is not healthy for many reasons.

  1. First off, no matter how good of a job you believe you’re doing at hiding your feelings and pushing them down inside of you – you can’t run from yourself! This is the root cause of addictions and mental health issues
  2. Energy doesn’t lie
  3. What goes in, must come out! Including your thoughts, feelings and emotions, so whilst you believe you’re just pushing them down inside of you, they are manifesting in other areas of your life and causing issues
  4. The only person you’re hurting is you…
  5. You’ll attract more of the same into your life
  6. It doesn’t make you feel good
  7. You’re living in denial

You, me and everyone else on the face of this Earth are vibrational beings, and when you ignore your negative feelings and just switch to positive vibes, it’s kind of like spraying air freshener after your body has left a smell! All it does is mask what’s really going on – it doesn’t get rid of the real issue, and it actually keeps you stuck in the low vibe energy. And, as you are a vibrational being, that low vibe sends out a signal, calling more of the same low vibes into your life and keeping you stuck in a loop. And then you’ll be saying things to yourself like “why do these things always happen to me?!”

But, what if the purpose of your negative feelings weren’t to try and make you feel like sh*t, but instead they’re there as signposts to point you in the direction of what you need to look at, let go of and heal? Learning to reframe your negative feelings as feedback for where the work needs to be done changes everything.

As I said, everything has its place in life and your negative feelings are no different. When you learn first to acknowledge and accept your low vibes, that in and of itself takes away much of their charge. Stop being so harsh on yourself – you are only human after all! The next thing to do is to ask the negative emotions what they are trying to communicate with you. The answers may not come through straight away, but they will come. Your job is then to listen and not dismiss the answer when you do get it.

You see, what happens in your life is never actually about what you think it’s about. It’s always about you, and the work you need to do on your inner game. What you experience in your life is merely there as a guide, brought to you so you can do the inner work.

Approach your negative vibes with playful curiosity – it helps to remove much of their hold on you. Thank them for showing you the way and then do the damn work!

Doing the inner work, healing the memories and experiences that trigger the negative feelings is like clearing the way. When you are doing that and then planting the seeds of positive vibes, that’s when your positivity is effective, healthy and sustainable. And when you stop running from yourself!

That’s true freedom.

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