This post is Grassroots, meaning a reader posted it directly. If you see an issue with it, contact an editor.
If you’d like to post a Grassroots post, click here!

April 13, 2019

Online Dating F*ckery…..

So after being single for 15 months I felt ready to jump into the dating world! With the advice of a friend who seemed to have fab success, I joined an dating site because I felt it was important and necessary to look outside my circle.

Here’s my story:

In reality online dating has ruined dating/love. Nobody can talk in person anymore. My ONE YEAR subscription expired in February. I’ll never do it again. Here’s why.

It’s an endless competition. Before online dating there was always a chance that the guy or girl you liked could meet someone else before you two got together, but these days, it’s almost guaranteed. There’s always someone else in the picture — all we gotta do is swipe left. We’re in a land of never-ending choices. People keep swiping with hopes to find something better !

  • Some people give fewer shits about making actual effort anymore. A first date used to be a magical time where we felt sick with anticipation.
  • Some peeps mistake a text message with real effort and have replaced intimacy with a carefully selected emoji.
  • Some have a new-found sense of perfection entitlement, these days. ~We’ll write someone off for having the most minor of flaws — they take too long to respond, not tall enough, doesn’t have a six pack, small breasts, children, no children etc.
  • Some create deal breakers that are so insane, it makes it pretty well impossible that we’ll ever find what we think we’re looking for.
  • A pocket of choices and a pocket full of reasons that we don’t need to commit to just one person or thing.

Don’t let these sites ruin it for you. Get out there and meet someone. You NEED those butterflies! ThAt’s what feeds the EFFORT. No matter how long the drive is or how much or how little time you can commit. You’ll never know til ya do IT!

A bit of advice for my man friends out there. Don’t post 97 pics that include you and your buddies. It’s a pain in the ass to try to figure out which one you are? Don’t ask for recent pics from us when yours are from 1970, that kid that you have by the neck isn’t winning brownie points. It looks like you kidnapped them. Nobody cares how big your fish is, and guys if your mileage restrictions are in the 5-15 mile range, why the Fuk are you on a dating site? I mean… that’s a clear indicator of how much effort you plan to put in AND for gods sake y’all need to meet the requirements of your requirements.

Ohh and I’ve learned that men also know how to use photo editors! I’m sharing this so you all don’t waste your money and to protect you from letting online dating ruin you! If you were one of those men in my circle who also happened to be lookin outside the box . Please don’t feel bad. I blocked 905 profiles during this experience. Yes. OVER NINE HUNDRED! I probably blocked the entire dating site! Perhaps that’s why I’m still single 27 months later. But I’m happy now. Its risky business. I met a few disappointments and made a few friends!

It sucked and it’s been A YEAR of disappointment and A YEAR added on to that 15 months! Blah. Lesson learned. The most important things that I’ve learned during my ONE YEAR subscription is that its not gonna work if you aren’t ready, ya gotta make time for you, for fun anddd you’ll realize, you don’t need anyone to make you happy. It truly is from within. Ya gotta make your own happy. Lay your armor down, leave your past and don’t judge the future or you’ll never find your match. It’s scary af but some day you’ll be glad you did. (I hope)

Fine print: I am not advertising my single-ism & I just wanted to educate some of you who are considering a dating site! Being a hopeless romantic stuck in a hook up culture is a special kinda hell. Pinky swear!


Read 5 Comments and Reply

Read 5 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Dawn Metcalf  |  Contribution: 2,070