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June 5, 2019

1st boy

I met you at school on the very first day and I knew that someday we would be together. My heart had a direct dial to yours, I was so lost, so upturned by what I felt, at the same time, never so sure, so grounded, so utterly determined that we would make it as one. I was only 11! So I waited, and I waited and 14 came along. Now i’d call it a ‘long play’ at the time I just knew it was important enough not to rush. We made it, you and I. For a time. I was so happy. A deep and profound happiness sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get quite so deep again. When the end came I didn’t know life could hurt so bad. It felt like dying every day, over and over, for years. I still miss you every day. I don’t want you, I get that life moved on and we could never work. But I crave that connection, that union, that purity of emotion. I feel equally so blessed and so sad I got to feel this way once in a life time. I miss you.

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