5.9
June 24, 2019

What to Say when the World tries to Stick Us in a Box.

 

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People want to see only the shiny,

pretty, admirable parts of me.

As if I was a precious diamond

to be polished all the time.

But I am not.

They want to see the flawless me,

the skilled one

the talented one,

the artist,

the pretty face

with the deep thoughts

at all times.

People want to see

only the grace

and the light in me.

They want to see only the love.

But I am not only that.

I can also be ugly—

a pervert in my mind,

unashamed of my sexual fantasies.

I can be arrogant too,

sometimes unkind,

so boldly sarcastic that it hurts to the bone.

I can be bitter,

unstable,

stubborn,

angry,

raging with the flames

of my inner beast—

it might even make you run away.

I can be tempting and mouthwatering.

I can be sexual and erotic

in a pleasant or an uncomfortable way.

I can also be as soft and white as cotton.

I can be mature

and aggressively immature at the same time.

I can be loud and silent.

But people want me to be

this way or the other way.

And I am not that.

Or not only that.

I am both.

I am masculine and feminine.

I am strong and weak.

I am a beast and utterly vulnerable.

I am an introvert and an extrovert.

I am both darkness and light.

You can’t split me.

For I came to this Earth

to be whole.

I want to be both 

for that’s the only way for me to be

fully integrated in my bones, flesh, and DNA.

It’s my way of life—

to accept and embrace both sides of

my psyche.

I want to be one within me.

This is why I came here.

To experience and experiment

one more time

with my ancient body,

my old soul,

and my young heart.

I came here to let go

of my ideas and beliefs,

the ones that will never define my wild spirit.

I came here to be wild and soft,

light and dark.

I came here to be me.

~

author: Ilda Dashi

Image: @elephantjournal/Instagram

Image: Vivek Jena/Unsplash

Editor: Nicole Cameron

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Joanna White Jul 2, 2019 7:58pm

This piece is absolutely beautiful. I completely relate and feel kindred with the author. Sending all my magic blessings on your journey and thank you for sharing. xo

Debbie Fisher Jun 30, 2019 7:25pm

Love this!

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Ilda Dashi

Ilda Dashi is a free spirit, poet, writer, dancer. She is thirsty to know her own being, all parts of herself dark and light equally. She is passionate about self-development, psycho-spiritual, and holistic views of human nature, herself, and the whole world. She is deeply attracted to fine and sensual erotica, sensuality, sexuality, the dark feminine, the path of the shamans, and other mysterious mysteries of the universe. She is following a new path in her life—that of shedding the skin in each season and becoming anew each time.