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August 11, 2019

The things I’ll do for you

To my babies on your birthday:

I will show you to walk in nature everyday and to treat it like a prayer because you are part of it and it’s a part of you. I will show you to honour the earth as much as your body for they are our only homes. I will show you the weather doesn’t matter to dress for the coldest days and hear the crunch of the snow under your feet and the tingle of cold air through your lungs like a whisper directly from above. I will show you how to dance in the rain, to feel the mud beneath your toes, to walk under trees for shade when it feels too hot but to never say the weather is too bad to go outside.

I will show you the paths, both the one that most people take and the one with rocks and branches in the way because the one that most take will be easier but likely less rewarding. I will show you the one that few take is interesting and challenging, you’ll have others that want to walk with you or rush in front of you, that’s their journey not yours. The path that you create yourself though, that gives you adaptability, ingenuity and creativity. I will show you my path and know that you make it much further than I would ever have. I will also show you that sometimes you don’t get a choice on the path but climb with your whole soul invested anyway because whichever path is bestowed upon you will reach the mountain top at some point. I will show with you that the sunrise will be spectacular even if you have to pause along the way, it will still come up and standing in that alone knowing you did that without a crutch, is immensely powerful and no one can ever take that away from you.

I will show you how to meditate, create and make a mess and then how to clean it up. To meditate in the kitchen with meals made with hands that love, to find joy in the dishes that pile up and the accidental splatter on the ceiling. I will show you how to meditate in movement so you know what feels right and also the opposite, I absolutely need you to know what feels wrong. I will show to run until it hurts, how to bike with no hands, balance on a board and splash until you swallow river water and experience loud boisterous belly laughter so you know the joy that sometimes gets lost as you age. Then I will show you to clean up the messes you make with paint, with glitter, with flour or flowers, or your emotions and to appreciate what you made always.

I will show you the best friendships and the realest people who love me, and in turn who love you. I will show you how to love hard no matter how long they are with you on the journey. I will show you how to navigate through friends, some will stay, some will leave, some will leave a mark. I will show you what it means to show up completely for someone and who deserves that gift and it’s not many. I will share with you that anyone who talks behind your back can never be true to your face. I will show you that while it’s honourable to want to save people however people can’t be saved, they prefer to stay sick because it excuses their behaviour. I will show you how to focus on your own saving, your own beauty, your own purpose instead.

I will show you that gay, straight, bi, trans, black, brown, white, married, not married, kids or no kids, status, awards or position mean nothing, we are all equal, we are a pile of bones and skin to begin with and to end. I will show you that while we are all equal, we are all not the same, we are all not meant to get along with everyone and to trust that your vibe will attract your tribe as much as it repeals another. That’s the best thing you could ask for, it makes it easier than learning the hard way. I will show you to stand with those who are alone when they need it, and walk away from the group when you have to. I will share with you that when someone shows you who they are, believe that and not who you want them to be. 

I will show you to love yourself so deeply, so profoundly that no one will be able to question your worth or make you question your own. I will show you that betrayal will hurt but it will clear your vision and that yes someone will break your heart in your life, they also won’t ever be the one who will fix it. I will show you what it is to be loved unconditionally so that you can be alone until a partner comes along that adds to that not subtracts from it. I will show you what trust, truth and hope is, so you’ll recognize that and the opposite. I will show you that one red flag is enough and I’ll share how it feels to the heart when many red flags lead to a destination of destruction. I will show you that if you follow that path because you want to believe in someone’s potential you can and when it ends in destruction, I will show you how to rise again to walk a more beautiful path with wisdom and strength later on. I will show you my love, love for myself and if you have that you’ll never need someone to complete you because you will already be whole. 

I will show you that kindness matters more than anything, and what most people don’t understand about that is that it’s kindness towards yourself first. And with that I will show you about trusting your gut, learning to know your intuition and standing strong in beliefs while being able to hear others in theirs. I will show you that the need to be the nicest person in the room is actually a weakness, instead to be authentic, regardless of what others think. Nice is an image to protect but truth takes courage and bravery. I’d rather stand beside the bravest of humans than the nicest of ones. I will show you how to say no, and that even if it hurts that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I will show you to say yes, yes to you, yes to experiences that help you grow and to the experiences that will take you out of your comfort zone. I will show you that when you say yes to something you are automatically saying no to something else, most often you, so choose wisely.

I will show you how to break the cycles of dysfunction, how to heal, how to push through toxicity so that when you raise your children if you choose to have some, you won’t have to break anything but be free to create a new generation of loving beings. I will show you that the person you chose to start a family with, is with you forever so find harmony and friendship together no matter what your partnership looks like for you both. And if you choose not to have children which is your choice entirely, I will show you how to cherish animals and our planet so you can parent that way too.

I will show you how to nourish your body, your soul, your space and your community. I will show you that a smile goes a long way and to hug for longer than 20 seconds. I will show you that the prettiest people are simply the happy ones. I will show you to own your uniqueness it’s the key to your purpose plus conformity is soul crushing. I will show you to love what you do for work because that’s where most of your life will be spent. I will show you to embrace aging because it’s a blessing not bestowed to everyone. I will show you how to sit alone with your thoughts, walk alone under the stars and to decipher the shape of the clouds because that’s how to really hear what the world is saying.  

I will show you how to lead, with guts, grace, grit and your heart on your sleeve. I will show you how to try new things, and how I suck at them sometimes and also show you the successes of other things so you can see anything is possible. I will show you how to follow with wide eyes and deep respect for those brave enough to be responsible for others. I will show you honesty, humility,  healing and happiness. I will show you compassion, gratitude and character. I will show you to speak your truth, stand your ground and to dare bravely.  I will show you how to take a hit, some you deserve and some you don’t, to apologize when you need to but never for who you are. To jump long, take risks, pause, breathe and reserve your energy for the things that truly matter and to find magic in the ordinary because that’s what makes it extraordinary. 

But most of all I will show you that we are all messy, imperfect, fragile and error ridden but not to fear that, honour it, it’s beautifully unfair and if we try to turn it off we become void. I will show you to lean into your darkness so that you recognize the light in you. I will show you that the opposite of love is apathy. With apathy we lose the power of love, the power of presence and we live an existence without purpose. I will show you my purpose in life, my passion, my power and my peace. I will show you hard work, a big heart and unabashed authenticity in my life. I will show you my mistakes as you can understand them, my tears both joyful and pained, and my forgiveness of those who don’t deserve it because I do and you will too, and I will do all that so that you can see a real human behind your mother and she’s your biggest fan.

These are thing things I will do for you always. I love you.

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Paula Taylor  |  119 Follower