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August 6, 2019

The ugly truth of a fairy tale story

The day I left a love relationship where I was feeling like less than my worth, I rediscovered my own truth and transformed my life around.

Every girl has a dream to find her own Prince Charming, the one that would sweep her feet away and hold her with his loving arm. I was one of them. I believed in the fairy tale and fantasized that I would live happily ever after.

Then one day at 40 years of age, a single mum with 2 teenage girls, I was woken up from this deep slumber and realized that this dream will never become a reality. I just can’t pretend anymore because I got to see myself, the real me that I avoid it for so long.

A version of me that is not perfect, I do not have it all figured out. In fact, my life is kind of screwed up. But I feel great and liberated as I conquered my deepest fear. Fear to be alone rejected and not loved. I was fearful to be alone that I was willing to stay in a relationship where I was treated less than my worth.

I know that I am not alone on this. It’s every human’s desire to be loved, accepted and belonging. And like many of us that stay in a bad relationship because being disrespected is better than being alone.

But we shouldn’t fear to be alone because there is a power in rediscovering our own voice and I’ve forgotten that. I was a girl with my own ambition, dream, and identity. I found the freedom to express and just be myself.

I believe that a love relationship is the best way to grow and master my life lessons. Through the relationship, I can see the reflections of my inner fears, insecurities, and patterns of behaviors. I gave up my quest of searching for my Prince Charming for a man that will love and accept me as who I am. I am settling into a relationship where I feel like coming home because I don’t have to prove my worth, yet I feel complete because I can show my flaws and insecurities.

Life is not meant to be perfect, it’s a journey of mastery and discovery. I may not have it all today however I believe that having the courage to have it all is more than enough to get through each step that would take me to have it all. Meanwhile, I am enjoying the present moment and all the experiences that life has to offer.

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