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In between those tangled, damp sheets, his breath panting heavily in your ear groaning, “I want you,” those words fill your ever-widening hole of self-doubt, hate, criticism.
It feels great. In the moment.
You feel wanted. In the moment.
You feel loved. In the moment.
Hearts entwined in the primal passion of pure lust. Yes and yes and yes and yes…Turns to “not again” in the morning. And it keeps happening. You scan the room at the next bar, party, event, flirting outrageously—you feel wanted. He seems attracted. Mmmm yes. Back into bed we go.
It doesn’t seem to stop, the hole never seems to feel wholesome.
What is going on?
The problem is, you are addicted to external validation. In this case, you’re seeking the validation that you are attractive, wanted, and damn right sexy. Men can make you feel that way, and they can also make you feel worthless, sleazy, slutty, and a mess.
Wouldn’t you rather feel magnetic, radiant, and full of inner sexiness? What is happening is that you don’t love you enough. You’re getting your worth from what men think of you. It’s never going to feel as good as you think it will, plus it’s all momentary. Hence it’s an addiction; you’re always craving the next hit of “I’m worthy” vibes.
What can you do about it?
Start by writing down all the feelings you get by sleeping with men.
Ask yourself why do I want to feel that way?
Ask yourself how else can I feel that way?
You can get the same feelings of worthiness from other sources too. Maybe it’s an intimate dinner party with friends. Maybe it’s a cuddle with your cat. Maybe it’s a phone call to your mom.
If you really do look at the feeling state and uncover why you crave to feel that way, you’ll see that you can control receiving that feeling in ways that don’t leave you questioning “WTF did I just do again…”
It’s all about self-worth, gorgeousness, and men can’t give it to you the same way you can give it to yourself.