I believe that for many of us our limiting beliefs are hiding in plain sight.
The beliefs we hold about ourselves could be costing us dearly.However, the scariest part is we’re most often not aware that we’re harboring limiting beliefs which are keeping us from leveling up our lives, health, relationships, careers, and education.
It was 2009, but I remember going through the mail and there it was—the letter that released a sea of limiting beliefs. Curious about why the sender had sent me a letter, I hurriedly ripped it open. I read it once, twice, and then a third time; I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Surely this letter I was reading wasn’t meant for me, and someone had made a grave mistake. Things like this never happen to me. It’s reserved for you know—the “special people.”
I sat on my twin size bed in the safety of my cozy room while fear coursed its way through my body and pounded at my mind. I’m not smart enough, and everyone will know it if I accept it. So, for weeks, I sat on the invitation to apply for the Montgomery College Renaissance Scholars Program because I believed that I wasn’t good enough.
For weeks it was all I could think about and finally, with only one week left to complete the application process, I made the decision and then a mad dash to beat the deadline. An essay and two letters of recommendation later, I submitted my application with a prayer. Then the most unexpected thing happened: I was one of the few students to be accepted into the honors program, but I wasn’t happy; I was terrified.
Imposter syndrome got hold of me and wouldn’t let go, and the fear kept me doubting myself. For two semesters in the Renaissance Scholars program, I struggled with an inferiority complex.
It only ended when I received outward validation that I was just as smart as the other students in the program. I was one of the few students to be chosen to attend Cambridge University in England for two weeks. It shattered my limiting beliefs because I had to search out the source and challenge them so that I wouldn’t be so tempted in the future to miss out on other incredible life experiences.
I’ve done a lot of personal growth and development since then, but I’m sharing this cherished memory with you to say this: if I can get over my limiting beliefs and level-up my life, so can you, but you first have to know what they are and admit to having them.
Here are the nine beliefs we need to show the door to level-up our lives:
1. We’re not good enough.
2. We’re not working hard enough.
3. Nothing we do is good enough.
4. Even at our best, we believe that we can do better and be better.
5. We feel that we don’t deserve to have success.
6. We genuinely believe that success goes to other people but not to us.
7. We take responsibility for making other people happy rather than making ourselves happy.
8. We’re always seeking validation and approval from others to be our real selves or to use our authentic voice.
9. We believe that we don’t have anything of value to contribute to our society.
Are any of your limiting beliefs listed above? If they are it’s time for you to show them to the door. Oh, and you don’t have to be polite.
When I ask my clients about when they first started having such limiting beliefs, they often share that it’s from their childhood or some other previous life stages. All our daily actions are connected to our beliefs, whether they’re excellent or wrong beliefs. Depending on which one is dominating, they affect or infect our life experiences and interactions.
I encourage you to take the time to honestly and truthfully examine your beliefs. If you find limiting beliefs that are costing you the success you deserve, make the time to find out where the belief(s) stems from and take action to create a shift in your belief system so that it can start serving you in a helpful, supportive, and productive way.
We all deserve our version of success, joy, and fulfillment. But as long as we’re providing a haven for limiting beliefs to thrive, we won’t achieve the change we’re craving.
If you’re tired of carrying the weight of those limiting beliefs, take small action steps to change them today. I mentioned two simple steps above that could get you started. I want to add to those two steps.
It’s helpful to write down our findings and the solutions we wish to apply and then start with one small action step at a time.
Leave a comment and let me know if you try any of the steps I suggested or if you found this article helpful.
Happy “leveling-up,” my friend!