October 7, 2019

Elephant Journal, a Runway & a safe place to Land.


I’d like to share a personal story about the part that Elephant Journal played in my romance with my husband of almost three years.

In 2015, I was at a crossroads in my life. I was divorced, recently finished with a series of failed relationships, a single mom with two kids, short on money and answers. I had been reading Elephant Journal for a long while and found so many voices I recognized and ideas that would lift my spirits that I decided to write a few pieces myself. I published them and shared them throughout my Facebook community.

Michael and I met in January 1987 and were fast friends. He asked me out the day we met. I was in a relationship, so I declined, but happily, we remained friends anyway. Time went on. We each got married and had children and with the help of a great group of college friends, and then social media, we were able to stay in touch and remain friends. Years later, we both got divorced and were dating but were rarely single at the same time. Despite the fact that we were both living on Long Island, we didn’t see each other for years.

Michael read all my Elephant Journal pieces and sent me encouraging words and was starting to feel more for me than just friendship. He secretly wanted to be in a relationship with me but didn’t say anything specific yet. I was too dense to get his subtle hints.

I published Choosing Our People Wisely on January 1, 2015, and Michael read it. The line that resonated with him was “Lost in the fog, I was an airplane endlessly circling an airport without permission to land. I wanted to be in my world, not hovering over it.” It connected with him so much that he changed his Facebook cover photo to be an airport runway. If I was an airplane with nowhere to land, he wanted to be where I landed. (He’s very romantic!) Only later, when we were falling in love did he reveal this to me.

We started talking more and sharing more deeply in the coming months, but still nothing outwardly changed about friendship. In November 2015, the night before Thanksgiving, I was lying in bed at 3 a.m. reading Elephant Journal on my phone, crying in despair and loneliness. My mother had died two years before, and I routinely talked aloud to her asking for guidance and wisdom. I asked my mother for help—help me find my true love—and then came upon a piece about soul mates. It said something about when you reach a certain age, you’ve probably already met your soul mate and then it continued to list the qualities of this soul mate. The only person in my life, who fit this description, was Michael. I stopped crying and before I could talk myself out of it, (because what you dare to do at 3 a.m. you might not dare to do at noon), and I sent Michael the article. I asked him to read it and if he felt that this could be us, would he please let me take him to dinner to explore it.

Unbeknownst to me, Michael, who is more religious than I am, went to bed that very night, praying for a woman exactly like me to come into his life, bring him love, and ease his loneliness. So, when he woke up on Thanksgiving morning to my message, he was ecstatically shocked! He thought that he never had a prayer answered so literally and so quickly in his life. He sent me a message right away saying he was definitely interested and felt the same way. Later that night, after all the holiday and family stuff, we talked for hours. Then we started to date. After a few bumps in the road between Thanksgiving and late January, we fell in love. Big Love! Huge hearts and flowers type love! Neither of us had ever been happier.

On January 24, 2016, we officially stated in no uncertain terms that we loved each other—almost exactly 29 years to the day after we first met. Six months later, I proposed to him. And six months after that, on January 15, 2017, we married in a small ceremony surrounded by family and friends.

Elephant Journal was the catalyst. Elephant Journal provided the path that lead us to each other. Thank you so very much for the relentless inspiration and multitudes of connections.

Note: I am not sure of the exact soul mate piece that was the catalyst for our romance, but here are some possibilities: Your Soulmate Isn’t Who You Think It Is., What to Look For in a Soul Mate. ~ Judith Orloff, How to Invite A Soul Mate into Your Life., or this Meeting your Twin Flame…Really?.

I’ve searched the Elephant Journal archives from 2013-14 and these are my best guesses. Regardless of the uncertainty of which piece it was, the piece was the catalyst for us finding our way to this wonderful love and this strong bond we share every day.

My words of advice or encouragement: Never give up. Be patient, even when it hurts to be patient. What you need and want most in the world will come to you. All you need are faith, patience, and the willingness to be open to possibilities and you, too, will find a safe place to land.


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