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Update: apparently Empaths are vicious when pissed off. See comments.
The desire to keep everything “toxic” away from ourself is, well, selfish, not empathetic.
We all have trauma, or stress, or challenges. Do we close our hearts, or remain bravely vulnerably powerful in our basic goodness?
This is how we save ourselves.
This is how we save our relationships.
This is how we save our planet: we give a care.
If you date or befriend the occasional narcissist, that’s a bummer. If everyone you date or befriend is a narcissist, you’re the narcissist.
Read: “Conquering fear is not based on blocking your sensitivity.” Sometimes Good Vibes Only isn’t gonna cut it.
“Empath” is super popular on Elephant. So is “positivity.”
Both are…bullshit.
Real “empathy” ain’t reading Brené Brown then going and eating your bacon from factory farming, snacking on slave labor chocolate driving, and polluting in this climate change “future” our children are inheriting. Real empathy is opening up and crying, broken open, willing to rest in your heart when everything screams: get comfortable! Get away! Good Vibes Only! Read something soothing!
Real empathy sucks. It’s the best.
I FEEL SO DEEPLY AND AM VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM ME I DON’T CARE ABOUT OTHERS I CARE ABOUT MYSELF wait what?
Do you care deeply about others in your mind, but try to stay away from those who are troubled? Do you blame others but not own what you can own, yourself? If so, please call 1800 EMPATH
But seriously: yeah, there are Narcissists, and he could have been one. And there are caring individuals who don’t use this “Empath” term as an excuse to blame others, never themselves, and ignore others suffering.
The term today has become a description of someone who needs to stay away from those who have negative vibes. Turning empathy on its head.
(Most) New Age Empaths are insecure Egotists.
An egotistical jerk would never consider himself an egotist. He’d consider himself an…Empath. Deeply special and in need of protection from weak, sick, poor, annoying people. You know, the opposite of Siddartha, the future Buddha, who went out seeking the truth about aging, sickness, death, compassion, reality, Ego, this moment, this breath.
Read about Letting Go, and how it Sucks!
Don’t let folks (or ourselves) misuse empathy–it’s bad for us (and others):
Being empathetic is the opposite of being an Empath.
Empathetic: “I care because I, too, have felt pain. My pain is a gateway to care about others—not just those I agree with, or those I’m related to, but all others.”
Empath: “I feel more than most, and therefore need to protect my vulnerable heart from others, particularly those who might be toxic.”
“Real” empathy ain’t calling yourself an Empath, flipping compassion on its head and somehow turning our wounded, feeling hearts into an excuse to “protect” ourselves from “toxic” people “out there.”
Sorry.
If you believe yourself to be an Empath, ask yourself if “Empath” connotes that you practice compassion or “good vibes only.” Ask yourself if you are willing to be brave enough to feel vulnerable, to care about animals, about climate change, about immigrants, about “other.”
Don’t let ego usurp your gift and give you a reason to think you’re special.
You are special, but not because you’re better than others.
You aren’t.
You’re special because this heart, right here, red, raw, sweet, soft, messy, quivering—is our gift to this world of ours.
Read about Tonglen—how to handle our world openly, without drowning, but with compassion.
“Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart. You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others.”
You are not an Empath. Anyone who irritates you or is neurotic or hurts you is not necessarily a Narcissist.
Turning empathy, caring about and feeling for others because of our own tough experiences, into Empath, a thing that is so sensitive we must stay away from hurt others, from weak others, from homeless, from elderly, from whatever we fear…that is ego in the guise of self-diagnosed Specialness.
“Q: Why do you think that people are so protective of their egos? Why is it so hard to let go of one’s ego? A: People are afraid of the emptiness of space, or the absence of company, the absence of a shadow. It could be a terrifying experience to have no one to relate to, nothing to relate with. The idea of it can be extremely frightening, though not the real experience. It is generally a fear of space, a fear that we will not be able to anchor ourselves to any solid ground, that we will lose our identity as a fixed and solid and definite thing. This could be very threatening.”
Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism
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