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Why “Good Vibes Only” will Mess your Life Up.

14 Heart it! elephant journal 3.2k
3 weeks ago
elephant journal
14 Heart it! 3.2k

Dear Mindful Lifers, 

Sometimes “Good Vibes Only” doesn’t cut it.

Sometimes expressing yourself when it’s hard and you’re angry or afraid or uptight or awkward is the best time to express yourself because it’s the only time. Sometimes suppressing what you have to share isn’t gonna help.

Other times, walking away and getting some air and taking in the trees and stream and ocean and clouds and getting off your phone and laptop will give you the space you need to communicate the hard things.

But sometimes half-way is better than nothing. Sometimes messy complicated ugly arguments pave a way to breakthroughs.

Just remember to listen, and to care less about being Right than finding the truth. And remember to laugh at yourself.

Because our days are long, and we’re tired, and sometimes it’s too easy to be cranky.

From Chögyam Trungpa, my parents’ Buddhist teacher: 

“Conquering fear is not based on blocking your sensitivity. Otherwise, you become a deaf and dumb monarch, a jellyfish king. Sitting on a horse requires balance, and as you acquire that balance in the saddle, you have more awareness of the horse. So when you sit in the saddle on your fickle horse, you feel completely exposed and gentle. If you feel aggressive, you don’t have a good seat. In fact, you are probably not even riding the horse. You don’t put your saddle on a fence railing. You have to saddle a real horse. In this case, riding the horse is riding somebody else’s mind. It requires a complete connection. In the Buddhist tradition, this is called compassion, or working with somebody else. You are completely exposed in this situation. Otherwise, it’s like a medieval knight encased in his armor. It’s so heavy that he has to be cranked up onto the horse. Then he rides off to battle and usually falls off. There’s something wrong with that technology.”

~ From Smile at Fear: Awakening the True Heart of Bravery, By Chogyam Trungpa


Bonus, a few recent conversations with heroes of mine:

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14 Heart it! elephant journal 3.2k
14 Heart it! 3.2k

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allenjanine875 Mar 2, 2018 10:00pm

Thank you, exactly what I needed at this point in time.

Peri Pugh Mar 4, 2018 5:34pm

So so true. I’m used to keeping thoughts/opinions quiet. Then they slowly build. Having a chronic illness on exasperates this. I get physically exhausted and something random sets me off and I “debate” for what seems like out of nowhere, and probably off topic. It just becomes a spillway of everything I’ve been holding back. This is why I need a pen pal. Ha. Great point!

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