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October 22, 2019

I Promise that Finding Ourselves will be Worth It.

I promise that finding ourselves will be worth it.

I promise that finding ourselves will be worth taking a walk into the unknown.

I promise that it will be worth stripping down all of the layers until it’s just us, naked, with our beating, maybe-a-little-broken hearts.

I promise that our hearts heal. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but they will. And when it’s all over—when there we are, alive, breathing, laughing, dancing—there will be even more love in them than before.

I promise that it’s worth it to be alone, even when it’s scary.

I promise that the long walks at dusk, and the nights spilling out thoughts on paper by candlelight are worth something.

I promise that there’s a human inside of each and every one of us that is more beautiful than we could’ve ever imagined, waiting to come out.

I promise that there’s more to be found out about ourselves in the natural world than there is through meaningless sex, a few too many glasses of whiskey at a sh*tty dive bar, or a relationship we aren’t ready for.

When I say find ourselves, I mean let’s open the window. Make a cup of tea. Pick up our books. Pick up our journals. Write whatever the f*ck comes to mind. It doesn’t matter what it is. Call our moms. Call an old friend. Get to know them again. Rediscover the roots of where we came from. Light a candle and meditate, and then laugh at ourselves for not being able to sit still. Quit the jobs we hate and find one we like. Drive into the mountains by ourselves with no plan. Pray—maybe for the first time ever—to God, Buddha, Spirit, the Ocean; whomever the hell we want to pray to. They’ll be there to listen. Eat chocolate cake on our floors. Find small rituals that make us happy, and do those every day.

Because, baby, I promise that finding ourselves will be worth it.

I promise that even when it’s lonely and vulnerable, it’s all part of the beauty, and it’s f*cking worth it.

And then, all of a sudden, two years pass by, and we find ourselves sitting at a coffee shop with messy hair, black Americanos, and hearts that are beating with boldness and bravery in front of the love of our lives.

I promise love with another will find us.

But we have to find the love inside of us, first.

I promise it’s worth it.

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author: Tori Allenspach

Image: Photo by: Halle Madeleine

Editor: Marisa Zocco