October 28, 2019

Be Selfish, Goddamnit. Don’t Settle for a Toxic Relationship.

Looking back on your toxic relationship, you could probably point out some red flags or signs that the relationship wasn’t right to begin with.

We see what we want to see.

All in the name of love, right? I get it.

But how do we move forward without repeating the same pattern? How do we know we’re ready for our person?

We practice being selfish. Yeah, ya heard me. Selfish.

Now, I’m not talking the kind of selfish that keeps elderly folks standing on a bus while you get to sit. I’m talking about protecting our space, our energy, and the access we give people to our lives.

We nip relationships in the bud that are obviously not meant for us.

We set clear standards for ourselves and uphold them.

We do not settle for red flags or apologies without changed behavior.

We say no to things we don’t want to do.

We don’t entertain people whom we don’t see a future with, platonic or romantic.

We practice the self-care that our souls need to feel rested and ready to share.

We find a new healthy hobby, like yoga or meditation.

We make time for ourselves and live our lives, not as though we’re waiting for something to happen, but as though it’s already happening.

Your next big relationship will be your best relationship if you stay true to yourself, stop settling, and remember that being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.

Embrace it, baby! You’re good company. 

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