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November 14, 2019

Grief is how we Heal. Grief is Love. Grief is how we Return to our Souls.

Much of our suffering is unmetabolized pain that our mind is trying to do something with.

We have not learned how to properly grieve for ourselves, yet grief is the way we get back to our souls. It is what makes it safe for our souls to inhabit our bodies again.

Grief is a part of our human existence, not just in death, but in the constant change and letting go that is this life.

Grief is love.

We do not do grieve for things we do not love.

Grief is healing. It is the movement of loving energy that keeps the heart open to life.

When we learn how to feel safe to be with ourselves, our hearts, and our wounding, we begin to free ourselves from the ties that bind us. So much of our suffering is a result of all this stuck, unmetabolized emotional pain that turns into depression, anxiety, self-loathing, addiction, and eating disorders.

We are so illiterate when it comes to grieving that many of us have not grieved for ourselves properly. My biggest healing experiences were grieving for my six-year-old girl, what she survived and went through.

This is what liberates the trauma out of the nervous system so that we can be here and not living in that energy or repeating that pattern anymore.

Grief is for what was lost. That is very real. We also need to grieve what we never had. And for all that has happened to us, all we have survived.

Our culture and new-age spiritual movements are infused to the brim with the patriarchal agenda. The pain of grief and trauma is denied, shamed, suppressed, and even controlled through the promotion of addiction.

Victims are shamed. No one wants to be a victim, and getting out of the victim mentality is the goal in a world that perpetuates abuse and gunslings gaslighting as a way to avoid addressing the reality of the spiritual and emotional crisis this world is in.

Trauma is shamed. Women who have been abused are shamed, forever cursed as Medusas by the Athenas of the world. We are maintaining this split as long as we do not acknowledge the death mother and this split that must be grieved. In the world and in our own hearts. Otherwise, we keep treating ourselves the way we were treated and blaming it on our minds.

We have to stop making our emotions wrong or even labeling them as triggers or projections without first understanding them. To feel something in response to life is not the same as being triggered or projecting. We all grow up thinking it’s wrong to be human, when our very existence has a divine purpose that has nothing to do with this ridiculous pain we do not allow ourselves to be free from. Our bodies and emotions are tuning forks guiding us to wholeness.

We seem to believe that naming our trauma or expressing our emotions makes us a victim—but no, you actually become a victim of your trauma when you cannot face it and grieve, fully grieve.

You cannot really forgive anyone or the past or yourself without grieving and honoring the past and what was.

Grief is an energy that has the potential to set us free and keep our hearts open to all the ups and downs of life. It is our aliveness pulsing us deeper into the mysteries of love.

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Dr. Nandi Hetenyi  |  234 Followers

author: Dr. Nandi Hetenyi

Image: Danielle Moler / Flickr

Editor: Kelsey Michal