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November 27, 2019

In Defense of “Shaming.”

How to relate to Shame and Criticism Healthfully.

“Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right.” ~ Ricky Gervais

 

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Mr. WELCH. Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?

Senator MCCARTHY…

Shaming can be a good thing.

Feeling shame can be a good thing.

That moment when Senator Welch called for decency shamed Senator McCarthy, and helped begin to end the evil roll of McCarthyism.

The fact that President Trump lies and assaults and corrupts without shame is both the source of his sinister power, and exposes the lack of decency at his core.

If we have access to our beautiful red raw heart, we should feel a little shame when we hurt others—whether they be children, women, men, animals…as well we should.

Not All Criticism is Shaming.

Criticism, not just complements, can be a contribution—it’s a craft that includes respect and listening. Cults hate it. Journalism loves it.

Then it’s not criticism, it’s someone letting themselves be a jerk.

Exactly. We have to be respectful and mission-driven, not knee jerk, or it’s not the craft of criticism.

It’s good to qualify that tho how you just did. Otherwise we’re basically saying “good vibes only.”

Only compliments welcome.

That’s fascism.

That’s China—they suppressed doctors trying to warn about corona virus bc it was “negative” publicity and now they have something 1000,000 times worse for their image, economy..and people.

In this episode of the Walk the Talk Show Podcast, Waylon discusses a three-step approach to dealing with the feeling of shame:

  1. Examine the shame you are experiencing, without defensiveness, and be willing to feel it.
  2. Take some responsibility and remember that the person who “shamed” you is also a human being.
  3. Thoughtfully respond.

Let’s stop using shame as an excuse to not consider the significance of what someone is trying to explain or share with us.

Instead, the next time we feel shamed by someone, let’s consider that they may be advocating for a more responsible behavior, a behavior that we might actually want to adopt.

Let’s consider that if we are able to get out of the guarded, protective armor that the feeling of shame creates within us, we may be able to learn something new and meaningful.

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